30.11.09

textsecret

  • won’t you come out of your cave and go for a walk with me? i miss you x…
  • i hate lying to keep everyone happy.
  • sometimes i think things would be better for everyone if i just died.
  • i don’t know how much longer i can hold on. i hate this feeling and i want it to stop.
  • we were friends in high school. then you went off to college and married a possessive jerk and had his baby. last week we finally got back in touch. you’re just like i remember and your son is so cute. i’ve talked you through and played therapist to help save your marriage, but what you don’t know is that i really just hang out with you so much to explain away the evidence of the affair i started with your husband last week. i don’t love him and he doesn’t love me but he’s the only man i’ve ever been with who seemed to really like me and enjoy my company. being with him makes me feel happier and more comforted than i ever have before.
  • it’s been months and if you asked me to be yours i’d drop my world in a heartbeat, even after all those things you did. i know i deserve better but i just want you. while we were going out i fell deep in love with you. we tried to make it work twice but couldn’t. i later found out you had another girlfriend the whole time.
  • today was my birthday. i spent it waiting for a call or a text from you. we haven’t been on speaking terms since you did what you did. i still hoped. you still disappointed.
  • lately i’ve been thinking about just ending everything because i can no longer stand being this person i’ve turned into. the scares remind me of how terrible i truly am and one day soon i’ll leave this all behind so i can start over again. i’m sorry to those that might miss me. i just can’t take this stress and the drugs stopped helping a long time ago.
  • god, you’re such a fuck up. you can never keep her happy.
  • even though i outwardly seem alright, there are things i’m hiding. it’s just easier to suffer in silence.
  • i’m a sex addict. it destroyed my life last year and i know it will again only next time it will be much worse. and that’s ok. maybe he will kill me.
  • i’m ashamed every time i hear my son say that i’m his hero or his best friend. i know he deserves so much more and so much better.

9.11.09

textsecret

  • i told my current fwb i was single since june but in reality i was cheating with him. i’m single now though, thankfully.
  • i cared about you even before we were close. you may have lost the only girl that would’ve bent backwards for you. oh wait, i had. / you call yourself a man but really you’re just a boy that pouts when he doesn’t get his way or when you’re wrong. turning things around on me is just childish.
  • i like you a lot and i’m pretty sure you don’t feel the same way. i keep feeding myself false hope, which just hurts me even more.
  • i see my ex’s new girlfriend everyday now and when and when i do i get the worst feeling in my stomach because i’m so much thinner than her and he’s the reason i started eating diet pills.
  • i keep telling myself that i did the right thing by protecting you from this because i was stronger but i can barely keep myself alive.
  • everyone is really disappointing me right now. sucks. and i really thought i could trust them.
  • i have a girlfriend that neither my husband nor my boyfriend know about. i think i may love her.
  • i would never hurt him. i just hope that he won’t hurt me.
  • i sometimes really hate my best friend but i love her too much to say anything.
  • i have never been more afraid of anything than i am of just opening my mouth and saying, “dad, i’m a lesbian”.
  • no matter what i’m doing or who i’m with, you’re the only thing in my head.
  • i’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin. everyone thinks such great things about me but i’m really just doing what i think is right despite their thoughts. i’m just as scared as everyone else but no one ever sees it.
  • i’m disposable to everyone around me.
  • i currently have a boyfriend who has treated me the best and i can’t get my ex-boyfriend off my mind ever though he’s been the one to hurt me the worst.
  • i slept with two guys in two nights this weekend. the first night was perfect, he was perfect, everything was absolutely perfect. i was raped the second night.
  • it kills me when he asks for nudes. i actually am really starting to like him and i feel like he’s just using me for my body. like every other man.
  • i feel as if i’m walking through life on a leash society has put on me. all i want to do is slip out of it. yesterday my best friend told me i couldn’t accomplish my dream because it just wasn’t a good idea. i will always resent her.
  • i like reading the secrets about girls loving their brothers because it's nice to know i'm not the only one.
  • i know that text was from you. i will always love you but i just want you to know i’m gone now and i no longer hurt.
  • everyday is a struggle for me to stay and not just drop everything and leave you all behind.