textsecret

• i wanna live in nyc. not because it seems glamorous but because it seems free. / i don’t give myself enough credit. i’m tainted. / i’d rather be alone than disappoint anyone i love. / compared to him i’m wall-e and he’s eve. i’m not even worth it.
• i want to start starving myself.
• i’m dating my best friend. she sleeps at my house all the time and we mess around. my family is still in the blue about our relationship. / i love when you sleep over and we have sex. my grandma is so oblivious that we’re dating.
• the only thing that stops me from hyperventilating is the smell of old books.
• wow. what a pathetic excuse for a man. grow the fuck up and quit being so fucking self-centered. just because girls stalk you doesn’t make you less of a douche bag.
• i love my girl friend but i still think about what would have been if you just came around. i know we were put in a difficult situation but we could have worked through it if you were willing. a part of me will always love you. i know the side of you that no one else has seen. i don’t fully know who i am without you in my life anymore.
• i didn’t tell them i was kidnapped and shot up with drugs before i got away that day. it happened because i am suicidal and i let it happen.
• i think my science teacher is wicked attractive. it drives me nuts. / i think i’m gonna die alone because i’ll never be good enough for anyone ever.
• last night my ex/son’s father tried to commit suicide. he lost over a quart of blood and is now in the hospital. i thought he was kidding when he told me about the blood everywhere. he could’ve died because i thought he was playing. / today my boy friend told his baby mama to stop sending him naked pics of her because i was hotter than her fat ass. sad to say that this is the happiest i have been in forever.
• i keep naked pictures of myself on my computer hoping that my older brother will find them and keep them for himself or show them to his friends.
  
• i wish he knew how much blaming me for what happened killed me inside even if he forgives me one day i won’t ever forgive myself.
• i want her to get her heart broken. i want her to know how i feel when she broke up with me.
• i can’t fucking stand my best friend but at the same time i can’t let her go.
• none of my friends see the real me. i’ve gotten so good at putting up my wall no one notices. i seem alright but i need help too.
• my boy friend’s kids are spoiled brats and after he and i are married and he passes away i will work the rest of my life to make sure they don’t get a dime.
• today is my 18th birthday. two years ago i tried to kill myself. i wish i had succeeded.
• i can’t wait to move and get away from you. i love you but i deserve better and i could never tell you that. this is the end of a chapter in my life and the beginning of another and i couldn’t be more excited.
• i knew he wasn’t the one for me after i had told him i was sick and he didn’t bring me any soup when i was at work.
• my mom has lost weight and is down to a 16 in jeans and now all she does is brag about it. it’s gotten on my nerves so bad that if i have to hear about it anymore i know i will explode and go off on her. so what if she has? i could care less. all it’s doing to her is making me seem like a fat pig whenever we eat. beauty killed the beast.

textsecret

happy new year...

• she’s beautiful smart and kind and wants me for who i am and i just want to leave her. / i am getting easier and easier to read and i’m still not sure if that scares me or not.
• all i do is fuck things up. i’m failing school. i’m failing as a friend. i want to kill myself. / i’m seriously contemplating suicide right now but i can’t tell anyone because i don’t want to ruin their christmas.
• i’m going back home to the west coast i wish you would put yourself in my suitcase. the only thing i want for my birthday is for you to contact me. even if it is just to say happy birthday.
• i have no fucking clue what to do anymore and it hurts more than she’ll ever know.
• my guilty pleasure is seeing my ex-boyfriend even though my boyfriend doesn’t want me to.