23.2.10

textsecret

  • i want what is not good for me. i plan to make sure i never get it and i’m proud of myself for staying strong. still, i wish there was another way to do this.
  • i’ve always told myself i’d never cheat on him but i ended up doing it anyway.
  • i really want to have sex but i want it to mean something like before. i miss the way you touched me. it’s like you just knew what i wanted and when. / i think i may have feelings for my best guy friend. i’m not sure if it is necessarily a dating type feeling but more like i just really want to get some, and he’d work.
  • i did x once. i thought about it everyday. i did it twice and now i’m addicted. / i’m in love with my best friend but he loves his girlfriend. we fell in love at different times. there is a reason for everything but what’s this one?
  • people have convinced me that what he did was rape but i’m not so sure. maybe it’s just a regret. maybe i did it to myself.
  • all i think about is how to distract myself with ideas, sex, and activities so i won’t always be thinking about committing suicide.
  • after three weeks of having quit smoking i caved and smoked. i feel so bad now. i don’t know what i love more, the feeling I get when i smoke or how good i feel having not smoked.
  • i had a great valentine’s weekend. i was finally happy. why did you have to message me? my heart was finally healing and it broke all over again because of you.
  • in my entire life i have always felt that the worst of the genes in my family got dumped on me. i’ll never be pretty enough to be anyone’s girlfriend or wife ever.
  • i’m a girl and i just masturbated to girl-on-girl porn and i feel guilty because i liked it more than when i have sex with my fuckbuddy.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

"i’m in love with my best friend but he loves his girlfriend. we fell in love at different times. there is a reason for everything but what’s this one?"

The reason is this: you have lessons to learn. People change; hearts change; doors open and close; not everything works out how you expect or want it to. But it does work out.

If your friend is in love with his girlfriend, let him be. He is happy. If what you feel for him is love, you couldn't ask for more.

Anonymous said...

chibi!!
i just wanted to wish you a good day, because everyone needs that once in a while.
i mean, yeah i was annoyed at you for a few reasons. but thats no cause to hold a grudge.
and also, im kind of in a very good mood today, and thought you might perchance need some cheering up.
so.. have a wonderful day, and know that what youre doing really is helpful.
God bless
=)

Anonymous said...

oh, and today (march 8th) is international womens day.
wish every female you know a happy march 8th!