i have come to accept the premise

the deceit

the pretense offered daily

prescribed propriety

the façade deliquesced

imperceptible fissures in

acknowledged authenticity

evaporated

a glacier to the ocean

an artful mask created therapeutically

worn portage from waking to retiring

a mirror

for what you want to see in me

in acceptance i may have lost

may have forgotten

misplaced

or intentionally locked away from

myself

i wrote something...

...and i don't have anywhere else to put it. here you go. i would say that i hope you like it, but i don't know that i honestly care. but here it is. for whatever reason.

more random spikes in views. i don't know what to make of it.


the more i
read the more i
withdraw the more i
want to curl tighter into myself,
like a pangolin defensively coiling and waiting until the threat dissipates, or disappears....
i want to move away from me
to somewhere remote, maybe
uncharted, and cut myself
off.
i'm exhausted from this exercise in futility
this famously fatal
inescapability, this twisting and
turning, swirling and circling...
the slow
debilitating and degenerative
atrophy that belies
our own oft rumored and whispered about brilliance

so, i seem to be randomly getting page views since posting that i may be restarting the blog. is it just curiosity bringing you here? are you looking through the past entries? are you disappointed that there isn't actually anything new? i don't know what to make of this. i'm also still the last person the post a message on the textsecret PSC thread. seems strange

just a thought

i used to run this blog and kind of burned out on it. a lot of texts from the same people each week, and not all of them what i would consider "secrets". anyway, i'm considering starting up again. not quite sure for now though