december 14, 2016
from the
observation deck… nobody wins
grafting yourself
onto a trunk, leeching luxurious nutrients from the roots
you
lied. about too many things to list here. you lied
assaulting senses
& sensibilities, assuaging anxieties & angst
you
made claims. you lied
signs pointing
neon fingers to danger, delusions, and denigration lined this primrose path
you
promised love, but you lied
languishing
perceptions of self-induced gaping wounds
you
were supported, but you lied about not wanting to be
imbuing streets suffuse
with acidic blood & balderdash
you
lived high on the hog, and lied about your contribution
guiding the
beguiled through psychosomatic peaks & valleys or verdant envy
you
had means, but you lied about having them
hiking high,
fortune’s fool, intoxicated on fumes of sighs
you
admitted your lies, then lied about your motivation
these delights
have [emotionally] violent ends
you
apologized for your lies, then lied about your apology
innocence is not
objectively obtained or anointed
you
yelled and screamed, then lied about yelling and screaming, then yelled about
screaming and lying, then screamed about lying and yelling
noting abuse
primarily doesn’t ordain you the victim, or victimize you exclusively
you
lied about abuse, then abused your alleged abuser
going home to not
a home, homeless without knowing no one is putting you down
you
maybe aren’t a liar, but you lie about so much
you
lied about things you didn’t need to lie about
there
cannot be,
in
this foolish fiction furiously projecting slings & arrows into your
exsanguinated
heart,
any
winners. shrapnel shreds soft tissue surrounding ground zero
while
nuclear winter clouds settle softly into the
cankered
crater
where
you both once stood.
january 3, 2017
they who must not be named
you are...
...petty & petulant
...a pathological liar
...manipulative
...a thief
...an abuser
...a weasel [not wolf]
you are not...
...Native American [Cherokee, Iroquois, Apache [et al. none of them have blood running through you]
...a good person
...honest
...intelligent
...a writer
...an artist
...a teacher
...capable of living with any sense of integrity
...worthy of any more time than has already been spent on you
january 3, 2017
all any of us want
peace
contentment
love
feeling safe
mind
body
and
soul
…and we all want you to recognize the war you created in your head
just as the one
we are determined to attempt to avoid
is
your self-determined creation
the mirror you employ
that reflects your pure soul?
what fantastic imagination! that
delusion and fabrication thereof
we just want resolution
no simple acquittal nor amnesty
just integrity without superiority
no divine warriors
or double-rainbow jazz hands
just impartial honesty
exorcise your magic mirror
excavate genuine archaeology
beyond the mutually consummated conceit
that discounted the foundation of vapor
upon which this house was built
see two pillars
side by side
cracking while still growing
crumbling from within
negligent faithful framing and
neither discharged of responsibility nor
immune to the pretense of righteous self-assurance nor
innocent vestigial vanity
both proud though
collapsing decayed
two legs in the dessert
declaring grand plans
drawn in haste and
built without infrastructure
announcing good intentions
while testifying to corruption
down the road below
we just
want
to move
forward
lock this chapter
into
a vault for
later
review. Please
january 6, 2017
Warriors compulsion
honestly
you are
a petulant child
negotiating indefensible positions
hoping mommy will relent
kicking
screaming
holding your breath
blue in the face
wearing red-face
pretending you’re the last feather
floating o’er the plains
you may have been told you are loved
and
you
may
in
fact
be
but
if your peace is stolen by violence - as you would have others
believe
you might look inward or
at your magic mirror to
find the culprit. tell
him whatever you want. tell
her what you will
they will, apparently, believe whatever
they’re told to believe. Whatever best fits
their narrative. It’s all fluid to
them. all relative to how
he feels, and how
she interprets and we know
we’re not allowed to
question the factuality of feelings
there are feelings and
yours appear infallible and
there are facts
they’re not foreign languages that need translating
they’re not your native language for
columbus to stumble upon
your calling is not to name things, nor to
cast light upon dark corners or
expose veins of decay
your province seems more colonial
thievery by anointed vocation
snatch and grab and declare
manifest destiny
slash and burn and
leave by the side of the road
flotsam from this wreckage will eventually
sink, or be washed away
tsunamis become waves become swells become ripples becomes still
water
time’s reclamation effort
returning everything to nothing
fair exchange for our
transitory purchase of this mortal coil
january 13, 2017
love [not numbered]
all we say and do reflects upon who we are
period
all that is said or done by others, about us
reflects upon who they are
not who you are
period
well
comma
no
ellipsis
nothing is done in a vacuum
right?
context helps definition
if someone calls me a liar and
it turns out i lied to them
that reflects poorly on me
for lying
not them for calling out my lying
i’m not being racist for pointing out that
your comments/opinions/views are racist
love yourself
it should be
enough
refuse to accept
unsolicited criticism
but
allow the possibility that
context may reveal
latent invitations
subconscious acquiescence
your bleeding heart will
heal
their bleeding heart
too
your bleeding heart
hurt hers
her bleeding heart
hurt yours
declare an end to
hostilities
now
remember
“forgiveness is not a tidy grave”
let it in
the negativity hurled against you
let it all wash
over you
feel the pain you caused
because
it lives next to
the pain you endure
when you listen
truly
honestly
to words expressed through pain
sometimes those words are meant only to
hurt
though they often are rebounded feelings
mirrors in a house of horrors
infinitely reflecting pain
remind yourself
you hold liability
for some of that misery
you cannot disavow it
simply because someone else is saying it
compassion and empathy
are not gifts you
indulgently
or
majestically
bestow upon others
they are skills
you must
develop and practice
over time
employ with subtle generosity
into a daily meditation
how you should
strive to live
everyday
january 18, 2017
listen
you were an easy read
the first time… seventeenth… ninety-ninth…
always the same
never a mystery
never complex or nuanced
you showed us you don’t know
what love is
how to give it generously and
without reservation
how to receive it with humility and grace
you showed us you’re willing
to say anything at any time
apropos of nothing at all
relevant to even less
without regard to the truth
you showed us your true colors
though you thought yourself sly
a fox in a henhouse
a parasite in wolf costume
a cancer unwittingly invited in
you showed us your “scars”
interjected your lies to prove
you’re interesting too. raised your voice
because the louder you say it
the more credible you must be
we saw through you
see through you still
not interesting or unique
not even if your bleeding was real
not even if your writing said anything
your audacious bluster
a feeble old man behind a curtain
desperate to be taken seriously
determined to define legitimacy
flailing wildly, failing spectacularly
baby, you’re clinging to scraps
in the end, thinking you’ve the higher ground
that you don’t do down
you may rise, but your lies will eventually
drag you down again
june 3, 2017
1.
you have no roots
you are transient
floating in the calm eye
of your own insane whirlwind
2.
you didn't fly
you drove in reverse
running away
scared
a coward
nothing sacred
or brave
about your ruffled false feathers
3.
the officer confirmed
you are unhinged
claimed i threatened
you within the safety of your truck
your hounds protecting you
4.
your "friends"
are witnessing a lie
nothing about you is true
or plum
plenty is soft and broken
you have no roots
you are transient
floating in the calm eye
of your own insane whirlwind
2.
you didn't fly
you drove in reverse
running away
scared
a coward
nothing sacred
or brave
about your ruffled false feathers
3.
the officer confirmed
you are unhinged
claimed i threatened
you within the safety of your truck
your hounds protecting you
4.
your "friends"
are witnessing a lie
nothing about you is true
or plum
plenty is soft and broken
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