text secret

i'm still here. i'm healthy. i'm moved by all of the comments asking after me. one clever person noticed i had logged on to my myspace page! frankly, i didn't think my absence would go noticed and that this site would soon be forgotten. i've gotten a couple of texts asking about me. i thank you for your concern. my internet access is limited to the library right now. for some reason, this site is blocked, or won't load, or something and i haven't even been able to log on to blogger to do the updates. so that is why i haven't updated for a while. updates may come irregularly until i can secure another way to access what i need to to do this. i've continued receiving secrets though so here is what i've gotten over the weeks. thank you for sharing.

• please, just put the bottle down. what would i do without you?
• i’ve never felt so helpless in my life. breaking off this friendship feels as if i just got divorced. i miss you more than ever, love you no less, and wish this never happened.
• i wish my mom could take a walk in my shoes for a day so then she could see how hard i really have it. / i think losing weight and getting a boyfriend will solve all of my problems.
• my friends complain about their moms every day. they don’t know my mom is dying. when she’s gone my world is going to fall apart.
• you dress slutty to get his attention. you also get the attention of so many other guys. i hate walking around in public with you while you’re dressed like that.
• every time we fight she says, “i don’t care”. as soon as those words leave her mouth i wonder if she would care if i killed myself.
• i don’t know how to tell him i think i’m in love with him.
• i got so wasted i was lying down in bed and thought you were there. i cried, told you how much i loved you and needed you. i woke up and realized nobody was there.
• i’m beginning to trust myself.
• all my friends are dead. / i’m in love with him and he knows it and i’m finally free.
• i’m so tired of being single and her acting like a whore and having a lineup of potential boyfriends.
• my boyfriend is an overly jealous person and i feel suffocated. but sometimes i feel like i do give him reasons to be jealous.
• my boyfriend and i broke up then i found out he is gay. now one of my friends is trying to hook-up with him and she doesn’t know. i think it’s funny. / i recently found that i really like my best friend but we’re too close to ruin it. he’s all i have. i just wish i new how he felt about me.
• my happiness is merely an illusion. when i’m laughing with you i’m really thinking about how lonely i am and how i wanna go home and cut again.
• i have a set of rules i follow to keep myself at a happy and functional level. i don’t know how/why but no matter how hard i try i always break those rules.
• x was the reason i said i’d never drink, do drugs, or cut again. now that he turned his back i’m worried i’m going to break all three of those promises just like he did.
• i hate that you wanted me to kill our baby with an abortion. i hate that i keep hearing rumors that you and your ex are going to take this baby from me.
• i get depressed while watching kid/teen movies because i know my life will never be that fun or perfect.
• i’m in love with a wonderful guy but i often think of cheating on him with my ex because we had better sex.
• he wants another chance and i’m almost fool enough to give it to him. / i gave myself an eating disorder because i wanted to lose a few more pounds. here i am, 3 years later and 50 pounds lighter, and i hate myself more than when i started.
• i wish i had talent.i know the australian accent is fake but goddamned it is hot.
• sometimes i think everyone would be better off if i were dead.
• i really miss talking to them everyday.
• you are so rude, so very rude. i’m excited for the weekend because i won’t have to see you.
• the most depressing thought in the world is thinking that i will never be truly in love because i know the pain of rejection too well. i hope i’m wrong. am i?
• the feeling of not having any friends sucks and i know i have friends.
• i love him. but every time he hits me it gets a little harder.
• i wish things had been reversed the way we often talk about. you and i would be so much happier together. i wish that i had made a move or that you had.
• i really feel like i’m secretly bi but i can’t tell anyone.
• my boyfriend broke up with me because he was scared to marry me. he will never know how bad it hurt me. we’re back together again no thanks to the dirty whore who convinced him to do it in the first place. she is such a slut but i love him even though he kissed her.
• it’s not the fact that i will eventually die that scares me. it’s the fact that life will go on for everyone else.
• my future husband doesn’t want to adopt kids. i may not be able to have children. i don’t know which i’d choose; him or kids.
• you’ve reassured me a million times. i still think you’re lying.
• i think he’s my super hero. / i’ve finally fallen out of love with you.
• you tell me it’s inevitable and sometimes i just wish it would happen already so you’d be out of my life and i could quit trying to help you.
• i don’t care if there are tons of homeless animals. i save my compassion for people.
• i think losing weight and finding a boyfriend will solve all my problems.
• i’m glad my husband is in prison. i called his parole officer. i’m sorry it had to come to this. i still love him, i’m just glad he’s gone.
• i’m in love with my best friend and i feel so unlucky.
• one of my friends knows me better than everyone else yet claims to not get me. i wish she would realize this and stop being so ignorant.
• this guy i like said he can’t talk to me anymore because he can’t stand being in love. that was yesterday and i can’t stop crying and won’t get out of bed.
• it’s been almost three weeks since i stopped talking to you and it’s killing me but i can’t stand the way you have been acting. i hope you can take the hint and change.
• i know you would all be better off without me. i'm too much of a coward to ever do it.