textsecret

i recently read a novel by melina marchetta called, "on the jellicoe road". it was gripping and moving and i wanted to share this with you all in the hopes you will pick up the book and read it yourselves. the story references a bible verse that made me think of this site and ps immediately.

matthew 10:26 - "...therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known."

i felt comforted when i thought of this verse in relation to secrets. maybe it's just me....

here are the secrets for the past three weeks. thank you all for sharing.

• it’s disappointing to watch my best friend make the same mistakes repeatedly. maybe 500 miles farther will be good.
• i know what cutters mean by feeling a release when they cut. i’m the same way except with scalding water. that way, no one knows i harm myself but me.
• i feel so self-conscious about my stretch marks. it keeps me from wearing bikinis and tank tops during the summer. i’d give anything to not have scars.
• i wish you’d stop asking me about it. if i wanted to talk about what was bothering me i would talk. right now i just want to suffer silently. i may talk later… / it’s at times like these that i really wish i never existed. / i never feel more alone than when i’m in a room full of people.
• i haven’t ever had a real best friend. every girl needs a girl best friend. my sister has had her best friend since kindergarten. now she’s a freshman and i’m a senior and i’m still looking. it sucks.
• my older brother’s best friend slept over last night and i gave him my virginity. the whole time i was thinking of my brother.
• i told him i loved him and that i wanted nothing more but to be in a relationship with him. i thought he felt the same way. He didn’t.
• i hate my best friend and she doesn’t even care.
• every time i want to tell him exactly how i feel i type it out on my phone and send it to you instead. it’s oddly liberating. / i love you. i wish you would wake up and realize you belong to me. all she’s causing you is heartache. i would make you so incredibly happy.
• i told myself i wouldn’t lie through recovery. but i’m too afraid to tell my therapist the truth because we’re such good friends.
• you used to smile at me. we used to have so much fun goofing around. what happened?
• even though i know it’s not real and nothing will happen, i’m petrified to say “bloody mary” three times in front of a mirror. / no matter what anyone says, until i think i’m skinny i’m not.
• i check your blog everyday with a little spark of hope that you could’ve posted that day.
• i know i will never feel good enough for anyone, not even myself. i wish i cold have the confidence you do.
• i am so in love with him.
• i’m beginning to think i don’t really want to talk to him anyways and that bothers me. i love him but i also need him. why hasn’t he replied for 8 hours?
• i’m terrified of having children. my mom always knows what to do, when to do it, and how to do it perfectly. i’m scared i will never know like she does.
• i love gloryholes! there’s nothing better than a strange man’s cum all over my face.
• i can’t be around my uncle without being on the verge of tears the whole time. he reminds me too much of my dad.
• babe, i cut you off like a cancer. don’t put this blame on me, you did this to yourself.
• i’m trapped by the one man who swore to love me and not hurt me. all my friends warned me, now they’re gone and no one will save me.
• you hurt me yet i’d still be with you, giving you another chance to hurt me again.
• for every bad turning point in my life, a good one follows. i’m finally done with your bullshit and i have other friends who will think kindly of me. so screw off! / she died yesterday. i found out today. all i can think about is how death comes in threes and how i always find this stuff out a day later. / i’m betting 20 bucks that she already made out with a few of the guys she’s just met. wait until her boyfriend finds out.
• i really did want to die that day. the only thing that keeps me from doing it is knowing i have a child that only has me to count on. i’m glad i got pregnant so young. she saved me.
• i’m kind of a spoiled brat.
• i honestly don’t know what i’m gonna do when he comes and visits. / i think i might have actually met a decent guy in portland. / i’m sick and tired of feeling so flawed. i can’t stand how our society makes people think they need to look a certain way.
• i know if i was skinnier i’d be sluttier.
• i love you. call me crazy but sometimes it seems like you feel the same way. i just want you to.
• it’s been over a year. i’ve moved on and she has too. so why do i still get jealous when i see her with her girlfriend? / sometimes i wish i didn’t exist.
• it’s been five months and i still love him like we’ve never been apart.
• i cannot wait for you to go to louisiana. you think people care that you’re leaving but they don’t. i will not miss you.
• i’ve pushed everyone away because of my eating disorder except for him. now i feel like he is getting tired of me and my crap.
• i’m planning on testing out of high school and i haven’t told any of my friends.
• my best friend is leaving for college, another is moving to north carolina to start new, and i’m still stuck here in the same old position feeling lonelier than ever. / i have a sex-crazed boyfriend that i don’t even like anymore. my close friend doesn’t even know me, and my mom hates me for bullshit reasons. i want to fly somewhere, not tell anyone where i am and become an anti-social wreck. that way i’m no longer dependent on undependable people.
• i love when we go to big family gatherings because my cousins and i have been having sex since we were twelve.
• i’m falling for her. she likes me. i have a boyfriend but i’m falling for her. hard. that’s not even half of it. how can i handle this?
• i wish things were easier. i know you feel the same way about me. at least i have myself convinced that you do. i still want my chance but i know i won’t get it. speak your mind please.
• i need turbulence in my life to be happy.
• i hope that x makes you regret it.
• you are all i ever wanted. i’m so in love with you but when i feel the most i can’t help but also feel like you could be faking it. please don’t fail me baby.