i recently read a novel by melina marchetta called, "on the jellicoe road". it was gripping and moving and i wanted to share this with you all in the hopes you will pick up the book and read it yourselves. the story references a bible verse that made me think of this site and ps immediately.

matthew 10:26 - "...therefore do not fear them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known."

i felt comforted when i thought of this verse in relation to secrets. maybe it's just me....

here are the secrets for the past three weeks. thank you all for sharing.

  • it’s disappointing to watch my best friend make the same mistakes repeatedly. maybe 500 miles farther will be good.
  • i know what cutters mean by feeling a release when they cut. i’m the same way except with scalding water. that way, no one knows i harm myself but me.
  • i feel so self-conscious about my stretch marks. it keeps me from wearing bikinis and tank tops during the summer. i’d give anything to not have scars.
  • i wish you’d stop asking me about it. if i wanted to talk about what was bothering me i would talk. right now i just want to suffer silently. i may talk later… / it’s at times like these that i really wish i never existed. / i never feel more alone than when i’m in a room full of people.
  • i haven’t ever had a real best friend. every girl needs a girl best friend. my sister has had her best friend since kindergarten. now she’s a freshman and i’m a senior and i’m still looking. it sucks.
  • my older brother’s best friend slept over last night and i gave him my virginity. the whole time i was thinking of my brother.
  • i told him i loved him and that i wanted nothing more but to be in a relationship with him. i thought he felt the same way. He didn’t.
  • i hate my best friend and she doesn’t even care.
  • every time i want to tell him exactly how i feel i type it out on my phone and send it to you instead. it’s oddly liberating. / i love you. i wish you would wake up and realize you belong to me. all she’s causing you is heartache. i would make you so incredibly happy.
  • i told myself i wouldn’t lie through recovery. but i’m too afraid to tell my therapist the truth because we’re such good friends.
  • you used to smile at me. we used to have so much fun goofing around. what happened?
  • even though i know it’s not real and nothing will happen, i’m petrified to say “bloody mary” three times in front of a mirror. / no matter what anyone says, until i think i’m skinny i’m not.
  • i check your blog everyday with a little spark of hope that you could’ve posted that day.
  • i know i will never feel good enough for anyone, not even myself. i wish i cold have the confidence you do.
  • i am so in love with him.
  • i’m beginning to think i don’t really want to talk to him anyways and that bothers me. i love him but i also need him. why hasn’t he replied for 8 hours?
  • i’m terrified of having children. my mom always knows what to do, when to do it, and how to do it perfectly. i’m scared i will never know like she does.
  • i love gloryholes! there’s nothing better than a strange man’s cum all over my face.
  • i can’t be around my uncle without being on the verge of tears the whole time. he reminds me too much of my dad.
  • babe, i cut you off like a cancer. don’t put this blame on me, you did this to yourself.
  • i’m trapped by the one man who swore to love me and not hurt me. all my friends warned me, now they’re gone and no one will save me.
  • you hurt me yet i’d still be with you, giving you another chance to hurt me again.
  • for every bad turning point in my life, a good one follows. i’m finally done with your bullshit and i have other friends who will think kindly of me. so screw off! / she died yesterday. i found out today. all i can think about is how death comes in threes and how i always find this stuff out a day later. / i’m betting 20 bucks that she already made out with a few of the guys she’s just met. wait until her boyfriend finds out.
  • i really did want to die that day. the only thing that keeps me from doing it is knowing i have a child that only has me to count on. i’m glad i got pregnant so young. she saved me.
  • i’m kind of a spoiled brat.
  • i honestly don’t know what i’m gonna do when he comes and visits. / i think i might have actually met a decent guy in portland. / i’m sick and tired of feeling so flawed. i can’t stand how our society makes people think they need to look a certain way.
  • i know if i was skinnier i’d be sluttier.
  • i love you. call me crazy but sometimes it seems like you feel the same way. i just want you to.
  • it’s been over a year. i’ve moved on and she has too. so why do i still get jealous when i see her with her girlfriend? / sometimes i wish i didn’t exist.
  • it’s been five months and i still love him like we’ve never been apart.
  • i cannot wait for you to go to louisiana. you think people care that you’re leaving but they don’t. i will not miss you.
  • i’ve pushed everyone away because of my eating disorder except for him. now i feel like he is getting tired of me and my crap.
  • i’m planning on testing out of high school and i haven’t told any of my friends.
  • my best friend is leaving for college, another is moving to north carolina to start new, and i’m still stuck here in the same old position feeling lonelier than ever. / i have a sex-crazed boyfriend that i don’t even like anymore. my close friend doesn’t even know me, and my mom hates me for bullshit reasons. i want to fly somewhere, not tell anyone where i am and become an anti-social wreck. that way i’m no longer dependent on undependable people.
  • i love when we go to big family gatherings because my cousins and i have been having sex since we were twelve.
  • i’m falling for her. she likes me. i have a boyfriend but i’m falling for her. hard. that’s not even half of it. how can i handle this?
  • i wish things were easier. i know you feel the same way about me. at least i have myself convinced that you do. i still want my chance but i know i won’t get it. speak your mind please.
  • i need turbulence in my life to be happy.
  • i hope that x makes you regret it.
  • you are all i ever wanted. i’m so in love with you but when i feel the most i can’t help but also feel like you could be faking it. please don’t fail me baby.


Penny said...

Could have written so many of them....
Good to see you safe, inspired and updating

Anonymous said...

Stupid people and their cries. *yawns*

Anonymous said...

An update = xD

So many of these I can relate to this week.


Anonymous said...

"i’m falling for her. she likes me. i have a boyfriend but i’m falling for her. hard. that’s not even half of it. how can i handle this?"

i kind of hope this is about me. if it were i would say: i may have a bf, and you may have a bf, but i'm falling for you, too. actually, i've liked you for quite some time.

Anonymous said...

"I hope that X makes you regret it"

I have so many friends that need to read this.

Anonymous said...

i read that book a few days ago, before looking at this site. and it was probably the most touching story that i've ever read.

Anonymous said...

i still love him. he showed me what love is. i want to b with him 24 hours a day. i want to share everything with him.he says im his best friend, hes mine,but hes so much more than that to me.we may have only been together for a short time and it may have been my fault that stuff messed up, but i just cant let any of that go, he became the most important person in my life and i cant get rid of those feelings no matter how much he tries to show that he doesnt want them.i know he doesnt feel the same, he tries so hard to find a happy medium and i know he doesnt ant to hurt me, but i just wish he would realise that he wont be able to replace what we had/have and soon i will find the strength to move on, i know he will miss me when that day comes. it just shouldnt have to come to that. i know i would be good enough if he saw the real situation. but he wont, and its horrible. its just so complicated and i cant explain it, but i feel like so many of those texts could have been written by me, but instead they came from people on the other side of the world. strange :) x

Anonymous said...

i left the comment above, were back 2getha and stronger than ever,i believe were in love i just think we need that extra bit of trust for things to carry on working so well. i feel i really deserve this happiness :)