23.6.09

text secret

  • i saw you on saturday morning. we spent all saturday night and sunday together. i smiled at you monday morning and you smiled back. you left monday afternoon. it’s monday night and i’ve been crying for hours.
  • i’m afraid of losing him. i’m afraid that one day he’ll text and say that we can’t talk anymore. i’m most afraid of him never texting back at all. / even though i’m younger and you’re older i would drop everything i have here to be with you. i honestly think you’re all i need.
  • i love the fact that i was lied to for this long. how fucking classy.
    being away from my girlfriend sucks. i think i’m starting to forget how much i really do love her. / as the days of summer pass i’m afraid that i’m very close to losing the person behind the reason of my very existence. / most recently, i think that my ex-boyfriend is the man i’m going to marry 10 – 15 years from now.
  • boy, i think that i’m in love with you.
  • i wish that i could move far away with just my family and feel guilty for leaving my friends. i love them; i just don’t want them anymore.
  • my friends and therapist think that i’m doing better than i actually am. / the voices tell me to die. i haven’t told my therapist about them because i refuse to go to a psych ward. / you can’t say that i guilt tripped you. if it was a guilt trip then you would have to be able to feel guilt, which would require you to have a soul.
  • i know that i should finish school and fulfill my potential but i really want to stay home and have babies.
  • i feel like there are too many places to live and too many lifestyles to try to fit into one life. i am curious about living so many different ways and places i don’t know how to do it. i feel like i’m never gonna live my life the way i dream. i want it to be some ways it probably never will be and that terrifies me. i’m scared to get old. i’m scared that i can’t get back my youth and my parents aren’t letting me live what i have left of it.
  • i’m sad you let me go this quickly. i wish you would fight to keep me as much as i fought to keep you in the beginning.
  • i want nothing more than to be able to walk away from you. but every night i steel myself to, i end up dreaming of what we had and find it impossible to do it. / i’m not comfortable in my own life. there are so many things that can go horribly wrong and that terrifies me.
    i don’t feel like part of the family anymore, which isn’t helping anything.
  • i hate that you saw me in short shorts. i only wanted one man to see that much skin. ever.
  • you just crashed your car rushing to meet me. then you told me you liked me over the phone. i told you i liked you too, but i don’t.
  • my girlfriend is out at prom right now because she couldn’t take me. some other guy is walking around with my girl. i’m infuriated.
  • i’m miserable.
  • today i wish was my last. i’m just so tired. i would make it my last but i would feel bad putting anyone out to bury me. i don’t know how to be a degenerate. i just don’t know how to change.
  • i wish that you would treat me bad just once so that i could feel ok about wanting to leave you.
  • i am going through a divorce because my husband and i have had an open marriage and he fell in love with his girlfriend. he wants to marry her and have babies. / he and this relationship were completely unexpected and absolutely welcome. i don’t know what i would do without his support and caring and belief in me.
  • why won’t you let me love you? we could both use the comfort.
  • i sometimes wish that i had been killed in the car crash that killed my friend. it may have made things easier.
  • i still don’t know which of my best friend’s brothers is which! i’ve known her for 6 years.
  • i tell everyone about how i have so many friends so they won’t know how alone i truly am.
  • i am married. i text my ex from 3 years ago to see how he was. he is still bitter. it somehow makes me feel good that he is married and still has feelings.
  • i felt happier with the boy whom i’ve had a fling with for two weeks than the relationship i’ve had for more than nine months. now he has a girlfriend. i wished he could have loved me the way i loved him. i wished i was one of his top priorities like he was mine. i wished that his action would have done the speaking rather than pointless words that never came to be. no, you weren’t a waste of my time; i just hope you treat your next girlfriend like the princess she should be treated like. like i was never treated.
  • i’m the best fucking thing that will ever happen to you and i can’t wait for the day that you wake up completely alone and realize that.
  • we talked about suicide at youth group tonight. it brought back lots of old suicidal thoughts i haven’t had since my last attempt. / no one’s ever really been there for me and i’m beginning to see why.
  • it annoys me when my friends complaining about their lives when they have everything going for them.
  • post secret is the reason i met the love of my life.
  • i suddenly don’t feel like doing this anymore but i feel powerless to change it. / i cut today. it never makes me happy but it does make me feel so good. unfortunately. / i’m starting to really not like this lifestyle but i’m terrified about what i’d have to do to change it. / today i want to kill myself and what really bothers me is that i don’t have a reason other than i don’t want to live anymore.
  • i’m making someone i know is right for me wait so i can see if i can make my current messed-up relationship work. you said the idea of me snorting my pills kind of bothers you. so i do it in the bathroom so you don’t have to watch.
  • i hate my orientation. it prevents me from having normal relationships with my best friends because i always end up falling in love with them. i wish i was normal.
  • my best friend died 3 days ago and i’ve never felt more alone and empty.
  • i lied to my boyfriend about cheating on him. it is his baby. i was just scared he would take him. now it’s killing him. i wish i didn’t lie. i can’t tell him.
  • i gave my boyfriend the number to this website. god now i regret it. what if he sent one of these in? i’m scared.
  • i miss you wanting me.
  • i'm the girl you like. and i don't know how to handle it either. but i do know how i feel about you....
  • i wish everyone would see you the way i do.
  • part of me wishes she'd make a move. i'm too afraid and insecure. i can't do it. what if she rejected me?
  • inside i’m crying for the loss of my best friend/ex-bf/baby daddy...he won’t ever know how much actually need him....
  • it kills me to hear you say that you want me gone.
  • i'm going to kiss her next time i get her alone. i'm going to do it. i need to. i hope she feels the chemistry like i do.
  • last night i had a dream about him. with every inch of my body, i desperately want it to come true.
  • you told me you were still in love with me an i told you i was pregnant... you told me to get an abortion an i said i can't do that... that was the last time i heard from you... as much as i hate you i miss you so much....
  • i wish someone would reach out to me an see how much i am really hurting... i could really use someone right now but everyone else is too busy with their own problems to see how much i need them...
  • i will be strong and hold it all in. i am better than this. i am i am i am i am… i hope….
  • your eyes give it all away, there's so much to say. but we leave it unsaid.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

im scared still i think he sent one of these in :(

baby did you send one of these in

Anonymous said...

"i’m the best fucking thing that will ever happen to you and i can’t wait for the day that you wake up completely alone and realize that."

THIS. I could have written this myself.

Anonymous said...

"i tell everyone about how i have so many friends so they won’t know how alone i truly am."

SO TRUE.

Anonymous said...

My boyfriend of one year & eight months said his going to give me a present what may either be; before my birthday, on my birthday or after my birthday. He gave me a clue and said 'its round and square'... I don't know why, but I really hope he may purpose, but I doubt he will. So what else is round and square? -sigh- I just love him so much.

Haha said...

RE: Post #4,

Round and Square. . . hrm..
A square shaped picture frame with round edges ;)

indiscernible.sky said...

how do you choose which ones to put up?

chibi said...

99.5% of the texts i get as secrets are posted.

Anonymous said...

I'm the one who sent in post #4.

It was my favourite DVD =D I was alot happier about that, which surpriced me... I guess I'm not ready for anything like that =D.

Anonymous said...

"your eyes give it all away, there's so much to say. but we leave it unsaid."

I didn't send this in, but I might as well have. I'm currently trying to get him to admit what he feels.
He won't because I won't.

Anonymous said...

he comes home and we stay up all night talking.
i stayed up all night crying while he talked.
i know he doesnt want to be with me anymore and is only staying because he doesnt want to hurt me..

i just want to be happy...i just want him to stay with me and love me like i love him

Anonymous said...

"i wish everyone would see you the way i do."

"your eyes give it all away, there's so much to say. but we leave it unsaid."

"why won’t you let me love you? we could both use the comfort."



Those are all for you,
I hate there is so much feeling between us but we don't do anything about it.. well at least I feel there is something there. I wish you could just completely be honest with me, I feel like I'm just making a fool out of myself.

Anonymous said...

you have been my best friend for nearly a year.

but after working with you? living with you? you annoy the BEJESUS out of me!

Anonymous said...

I read some of the secrets from each post and wonder to myself "what if it's MY boyfriend that feels this way about ME?" and then I feel miserable inside...I want to be the first to know if he has doubts or is unsure of his love...