got a secret
can you keep it?
swear this one you'll save
better lock it, in your pocket
taking this one to the grave

why when we do our darkest deeds
do we tell?
they burn in our brains
become a living hell
cause everyone tells
everyone tells…

you swore you'd never tell…
you swore you'd never tell…

selected lines from “secret
by the pierces

i just finished reading lessons from a dead girl by jo knowles. it was excellent. i read it because of the dedication: “for anyone who has held a secret”.

“alright wtf... its been like a month... new secrets? i knowwww your [sic] getting a ton... please post them i dont want this site to just stop :(“

i actually don’t get a ton anymore and most are from people who send them regularly. of the new secrets posted below, only seven are from phone numbers i’ve not seen before. honestly, i have considered just stopping and not posting any more secrets. maybe the experiment has run its course. without the myspace blog to remind people about the project, the texts come in from the same few folks each posting and i suspect those are the only folks reading. i won’t stop just yet. i will see how it continues on. i won’t say when my next post will be though. the last post was seven weeks ago and this is all i have to show you. as always, thank you for sharing.

  • every summer i try to recreate myself in hopes people like me better.
  • i’m secretly glad you don’t want to be around that bitch and your baby but i act outraged around the other moms i talk to. too much drama at 17.
  • i would do just about anything to be loved again.
  • when fat or unattractive people walk by me i instinctively hold my breath. alternately, when attractive men walk by i breathe deeply.
  • my ex has me terrified for the life of myself and our child. i’m 17, what did i do to deserve him? i love our son to death and wouldn’t trade him i just wish he had a different dad.
  • things have changed. i don’t hate you anymore. it’s not worth the energy and i have more important things to do.
  • i’m an innocent bystander. or maybe not so innocent.
  • everything has always been about me. now that it’s about my sister i am trying to be supportive and excited about her life but all i feel is jealousy.
  • the best relationship i’ve had was a lie. i knew she was too good to be true.
  • i don’t think i’ll ever get over the cruelty, the blunt force trauma, of my grandmother, my only living relative, not loving me. nothing hurts quite like it.
  • i have the words “bitch” and “fuck up” permanently carved into my thigh but no one knows that’s what it is.
  • it’s crazy how fast i fell for you. i think you could actually be what i need. don’t let me down like the rest of them.
  • my big brother lets me "practice" giving bj's on him. he's not gay. he says 'head is head'.
  • i just relapsed to cutting after almost 2 years of stopping. i feel awful for doing it but the release it brought was amazing.
  • i cheated on a guy i am so in love with but i feel very little guilt over it.
  • i can finally go to sleep without crying. this summer was the best one yet.
  • some days i wonder if i left the love of my life, the only man who would ever love me. i’m terrified that i’ll end up alone and have no one to blame but myself. / i can’t stand alone anymore. i’m letting go and falling whether someone catches me or not.
  • worst weekend i’ve had in a long time. it’s been four months and i really wanna give in and just rip my skin to shreds.
  • i just took six anti-anxiety pills and one “happy” pill. i wish i were brave enough to kill myself.


Anonymous said...

Please dont stop :'(

Anonymous said...

I haven't sent you a text in a long time but I still check this once a week. I think you have done a wonderful job keeping the spirit of the project intact. If you choose to stop, please give us a warning, and maybe tell those of us who still read what it did for you to be a part of this.


Anonymous said...

Please don't stop. I love reading the secrets and being able to send in some mine. It takes away some of the burden of carrying them. So please don't stop =[

Anonymous said...

i still check your post every week hoping for more. knowing that other people have secrets too makes it a bit more bearable to carry mine. i read every post and it is amazing how many people carry the same secrets...

you have helped me.

Anonymous said...

I dont send in secrets as oftenanymore but I see mine on here. I love this project and it makes me feel alittle better when I read it. Thanks for this

Anonymous said...

I dont send them in often anymore either, just because theyre never posted. But I still check it every week.

Anonymous said...

I didn't see any of mine...