30.11.09

textsecret

  • won’t you come out of your cave and go for a walk with me? i miss you x…
  • i hate lying to keep everyone happy.
  • sometimes i think things would be better for everyone if i just died.
  • i don’t know how much longer i can hold on. i hate this feeling and i want it to stop.
  • we were friends in high school. then you went off to college and married a possessive jerk and had his baby. last week we finally got back in touch. you’re just like i remember and your son is so cute. i’ve talked you through and played therapist to help save your marriage, but what you don’t know is that i really just hang out with you so much to explain away the evidence of the affair i started with your husband last week. i don’t love him and he doesn’t love me but he’s the only man i’ve ever been with who seemed to really like me and enjoy my company. being with him makes me feel happier and more comforted than i ever have before.
  • it’s been months and if you asked me to be yours i’d drop my world in a heartbeat, even after all those things you did. i know i deserve better but i just want you. while we were going out i fell deep in love with you. we tried to make it work twice but couldn’t. i later found out you had another girlfriend the whole time.
  • today was my birthday. i spent it waiting for a call or a text from you. we haven’t been on speaking terms since you did what you did. i still hoped. you still disappointed.
  • lately i’ve been thinking about just ending everything because i can no longer stand being this person i’ve turned into. the scares remind me of how terrible i truly am and one day soon i’ll leave this all behind so i can start over again. i’m sorry to those that might miss me. i just can’t take this stress and the drugs stopped helping a long time ago.
  • god, you’re such a fuck up. you can never keep her happy.
  • even though i outwardly seem alright, there are things i’m hiding. it’s just easier to suffer in silence.
  • i’m a sex addict. it destroyed my life last year and i know it will again only next time it will be much worse. and that’s ok. maybe he will kill me.
  • i’m ashamed every time i hear my son say that i’m his hero or his best friend. i know he deserves so much more and so much better.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

To the person who sent in....
"lately i’ve been thinking about just ending everything because i can no longer stand being this person i’ve turned into. the scares remind me of how terrible i truly am and one day soon i’ll leave this all behind so i can start over again. i’m sorry to those that might miss me. i just can’t take this stress and the drugs stopped helping a long time ago."

I feel the same way and I know where you're coming from.

And to chibi please keep posting the secrets. They keep letting me know that I'm not alone =/

Anonymous said...

It makes me sad how much this has fallen apart..

chibi said...

how much what has fallen apart? the blog? it hasn't fallen apart so much as it has slowed down. it makes me sad that you, or anyone, thinks it has fallen apart.

Anonymous said...

chibi. this hasn't fallen apart at all. its helped me a great deal. thank you so very much for everything.