textsecret

se⋅cret [see-krit]
– adjective

1. kept from the knowledge of any but the initiated or privileged:
2. a secret password.
3. faithful or cautious in keeping confidential matters confidential; close-mouthed; reticent.
4. designed or working to escape notice, knowledge, or observation: a secret drawer; the secret police.
5. secluded, sheltered, or withdrawn: a secret hiding place.
6. beyond ordinary human understanding; esoteric.

– noun

1. something that is or is kept secret, hidden, or concealed.
2. a mystery: the secrets of nature.
3. a reason or explanation not immediately or generally apparent.
4. a method, formula, plan, etc., known only to the initiated or the few: the secret of happiness; a trade secret.

quotes about secrets:

• “anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough” - george washington carver
• “every profound spirit needs a mask: even more, around every profound spirit a mask is continually growing” - friedrich nietzsche
• “we dance round in a ring and suppose, while the secret sits in the middle and knows” – robert frost
• “the man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep” - edgar watson howe
• “he that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. if his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.” – sigmund freud
• “what is man? a miserable little pile of secrets” - andre malraux
• “everything secret degenerates…; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and publicity” - john emerich edward dalberg acton
• “nothing weighs on us so heavily as a secret.” - jean de la fontaine
• “everyone is like a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” – mark twain
• “whoever wishes to keep a secret must hide the fact that he possesses one.” - johann wolfgang von goethe

the power of secrets – an article from the magazine “psychology today”

this week's secrets...

• i used to avoid my dreams to avoid my nightmares. my nightmares have started coming back and they are worse than ever. they scare me to death
• i’m scared that once i take off the rest of the weight i still won’t be attractive enough for guys and just gain it all back
• the only way i’ll know if mother loves me is if she dies like dad
• he’s 53. i’m 22. he’s engaged. i’m single. we meet up every weekend. get a room. get drugged up. and have mind blowing sex. i don’t feel bad, sad, or guilty
• she was his fuckbuddy before us and had his baby in our first few months. the baby now has major brain issues and i feel like it’s her punishment. not sorry.
• i act like a smartass tough bitch in order to stop people from getting to know me. part of me loves being alone so much that it scares me
• i use people to distract myself from reality, it’s time to grow up and face lie
• what’s keeping me alive is the fear of suicide and the devastation it would cause my best friends.
• i’m blonde, a redneck and i suffered from brain injuries. i am more intellectual than anyone gives me credit for.
• i love my boss more than my husband. and i don’t feel bad about it
• i will never recover from everything that has happened in this last month. now it is hard for me to see the good in people and i’m terrified that more things are
• i distance myself from people, especially men, cause i think they will be freaked out by my daughter’s disabilities
• i don’t want a relationship with you. i just need you to aid me in getting over the douche bag that i let break my heart once again
• i think that the only person that can [help me] is the next man that will walk into my life and sweep me away. i hope he shows up
• i want nothing more than to leave everything behind and move to oregon. i hate who i am here and i hate these people. i need something more than this.
• i was a size 14 the year i got engaged. i’m a size 6 now. i shrank a size every year. i’ve never been happy with any size i’ve been, but i was prettier when i had the courage to be ‘the fat girl.’
• i wish she would miscarry so he could come back to me like he did before they knew he was prego. she doesn’t know, but he calls me everyday and says the same thing.
• i have gray hairs but i tell people they are white and due to a disease that i have that kills any pigmentation in my body.
• i bought a vibrator and i’ve only used it twice. i’m scared someone is going to randomly find it.
• i’m not the girl that he wants whether he thinks so or not.
• i wish i had enough will power to just not eat because i’m sick of throwing it all up.
• i still think about hurting myself every single day and most days i want to die
• i just got a tattoo and my family can’t know!
• my mother-in-law makes me lunch everyday. and as long as no one is in the office, i throw it all up when get back to my job.
• i’m almost 16 and i still sleep with a nightlight. i’m terrified of being alone in the dark.
• i’m never good enough.
• there’s this boy i know but i didn’t notice him until he started showing up in my dreams… every time we are having sex
• my husband threatened suicide. i wish he had done it.
• these secret texts are the only texts i get.
• everyday i wish i would get in a freak accident and die so i wouldn’t have to choose to keep him or our unborn child.
• i hope my dad dies soon. not because i want his stuff but because i’m hoping then i can finally let go of his secrets and the anger i hold onto and direct toward him
• i sometimes wonder how this happened to us. i don’t know how to stop being sad about it.
• i just met a guy online and he’s the only guy who will talk to me right now.
• i regret giving away my virginity.
• a lot of girls like my bf and i feel that one of these days he’s bound to get tired of our long distance relationship and just leave me.
• i think having sex with a total stranger is exhilarating and i wish i did it more.
• after seven months of “sleeping” with him I finally slept with him. I learned he doesn’t share the bed very well.
• “lol” annoys me. i believe people overuse it. or use it when they don’t know what else to say. it’s like a tic only typed, with some people. stop! it makes me think you didn’t really mean what you just wrote or texted.
• i think my wrinkles are ok, and maybe even endearing as i have a youngish face. but i hate my gray hairs!
• if i didn’t text the people that call me their best friend i wouldn’t have friends. i never see them anymore and they don’t care. i’m losing everyone.
• i wanted to talk to her, to ask her to join me for a beer, but i know that i have nothing to offer that she would want so i watched her walk by.
• i'm a fraud and a phoney. holden caufield's worst nightmare. i pretend to help people in need but i can't even take care of myself.
  

textsecret

there are 47 new secrets this week! i’ve responded to some and was very happy to have done so. i hope that my responses helped. it seems many are dealing with unrequited feelings of one sort or another. i want to tell you all that it is ok to be alone. i know it’s not easy. lord how i know that. but there should be no social stigma for not being connected to another in an intimate way.

i had an interesting experience last night that i will share here instead of my myspace blog. i was sitting alone at an outdoor table at a local pub i go to after work sometimes. It was about 8pm when a woman came walking down the sidewalk by herself. it was obvious to me by the way she was swerving down the sidewalk that she was drunk. she smiled at me and bumped into a chair at my table. i asked if she was ok, she said yes and kept walking.

she bumped into a chair at the next table and i asked if she would like to join me. my idea was to get her off of her feet so she could catch her breath and maybe sober up a little before going on. she finally agreed and sat down.

i told her i would normally offer her a drink but she seemed to have had enough already. she laughed and said she wasn’t drunk to which i scoffed. she said, “really, i’m not drunk. i have a brain injury.”

i apologized for not believing her and asked if she would tell me what had happened. she said that when she was eighteen she was in a car accident and had hurt her head badly. the damage to her brain has impaired her balance, slowed her thinking, and limits her memory abilities. i told her that i was very sorry and she replied that it could have been so much worse.

then she told me about how excited she was because in january she was being allowed to move out of the group home she was living in. we discussed her anxieties about a roommate and rent, and also her anticipation of having her own place and independence. she was thrilled about the prospect of being able to do things like cooking or taking a shower without asking permission first.

while i walked her to the bus stop i thanked her for sitting with me and helping me to remember to be thankful for what i have. there is always a flip side to the coin we are given but we often get tunnel-visioned just looking at the down side. it could always be so much worse.

it is difficult for me to even write something like this without feeling like a cheese-ball or like i am working for hallmark or some silly daily affirmation company. you can’t really write or say something like this without seeming trite or cliché. it still needs to be said though and it is important to remember.

i gave her my name and phone number, written on a piece of paper so she wouldn’t have to rely on her memory. i told her if she ever needed anything to feel free to call me. there was no sexual tension between the two of us, no attraction at all, and my gesture was not a come on in any way. i don’t know if she will ever call but that hardly seems to matter. she appeared long enough to give me a message and i got the message and thanked her for it. i don’t know who or what sends the messages but i am thankful when i am conscious enough to receive them. regardless of your mood or the state of your life, it is important to always have your eyes wide open because you never know when a blessing will come stumbling down the sidewalk…

thank you all for your secrets. keep sending them and i will keep posting them and we will rid ourselves of the burden of carrying them and thinking we are all alone.

• i have trichotillomania. i pull out my hair.
• i want nothing more than to succeed but I am failing. i would rather die than admit failure. i have picked the date.
• i am 26 and i got divorced because he cheated on me not because we grew apart. my family and friends have no idea.
• my phone number is the same as an old escort service. sometimes i answer the phone as an escort so i can embarrass the fuck out of the pervs that call.
• i haven’t let my dad hug me since i was 12 and he kissed me on the lips. that was 6 years ago.
• my ex-husband in transgender. i wish he would kill himself like he threatens.
• i’m going back for a bachelors at the age of 26 because i don’t know what else to do. at least i’ll know i’m a student for the next 3 years.
• there are days when i love him and days when i don’t… i hope the day he proposes i do! i really do want to spend the rest of my life with him!
• there’s this boy that i don’t even know and i want so bad to even be his friend but i feel like i’d be TOO happy in comparison to him to be anything but a stranger to him
• i don’t want to be with him, but i don’t want anyone else to be either. mostly cause i know how happy he could and would make me, i mean, her…
• i wonder if i should have stayed unhappy to avoid being alone.
• even though he broke my heart into a million little pieces… i would take him back in a second. (and every time i see him i feel more pathetic.)
• my best friend in high school wanted me 2 b with her. i told her i wasn’t gay, but now that i’m bi - god how i want 2 c her again.
• i am an adult and sometimes i get turned on by teenage boys.
• i am not lesbian or bi, but i fall in love with every single one of my best friends.
• i don’t think i’ve reacted to my mother’s death.
• i still go to my ex’s myspace and pwned pages because seeing his photos still gives me butterflies. even though i pretend like he was a huge mistake deep down i know he was the one. i’m with a different man now whom i love very much. i think we will get married but i know i’ll be thinking of jon.
• i want to die every day. it’s not getting any easier.
• i have no idea how to respond when someone compliments me.
• some of my best writing is done buzzed or drunk and i have a callous on my palm from twisting bottle caps.
• at 17, i’m considering stripping so i can make enough money to move out of my parent’s house and put myself through college.
• i look at my boyfriend and i can’t help thinking about what a good father and husband he’ll be one day. i hope i’m the lucky girl who gets to experience it.
• i love him because he shares my obsession with twilight. it is lame but true.
• sometimes i wish the movie “eternal sunshine of the spotless mind” was real, so i could erase him from my memory. then i’d meet him all over again because i’d miss how things were when we first met. but i’ll never have that feeling again because i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
• i have troubled thoughts and self-esteem to match.
• i wish i could give him up as easily as he gave me up, and i’m afraid that i’d still take him back if he asked even knowing what kind of person he really is.
• i share my secrets with everyone, not because i trust them but because if everyone knows i don’t have to trust anyone to keep them so no one has power over me.
• i got a tattoo saying that i’m a survivor. what a lie. the person i was died that night. this isn’t me.
• i’m glad i never let you go, after you broke my heart countless times, because then today wouldn’t have happened. i love you, i always will
• i’m falling for my best friend. JRM i love you.
• i think i ruined everything when i had a one night stand with the guy of my dreams.
• i lie to myself so often, that i don’t believe a word that i say.
• a month ago i slept with a guy 10 years older than me & an ex who i love all in the same day. i’m pregnant & i don’t know who the father is. i’m 18 & in college.
• euthanizing animals doesn’t bother me as much as i think it should.
• i think i’m trying too hard to find a secret to me, i should just admit that my life hasn’t been filled with enough to have one.
• he broke up with me, but we’re still friends. i finally see him 3 weeks later and find out that he has lingering feelings for me, but doesn’t want to do distance. we’re still friends, but i’m not sure who i am without him. i miss him and what we had and i use all my wishes on him.
• he loves me too. life is wonderful!
• i thought i’d lost it all when i told my friend i was in love with her. i soon realized i was in love with her personality. i am in love with her friendship.
• my late aunt would berate my mom for homeschooling us; but i was the one who explained “second base” to her now slut of a daughter. vindication!
• my husband is being transferred to a new city and i’m worried he’ll find someone else while waiting on me & our kids to follow in a few months
• i don’t want to have children and whenever i tell people i feel like a leper. they always make some crack about me changing my mind.
• i was stabbed in the back. i have a right to my anger. my secrets turned out to be hers and she openly shared them for months.
• i don’t think i can handle this. i really wish i could just give up.
• i hate kissing my boyfriend. it’s all he ever wants to do
• i've become so cynical and pessimistic about marriage because all the married people i know seem so miserable.
• i wanted to send you another secret, but looking at your blog i realize that some 1 else has already sent you all my secrets. the only 1 left is my crush on u and your ability to be open to ppl you don’t know about. things i can’t even admit to myself some times.
• i don't know if love exists anymore because i loved him with all my heart and he's thrown me away

textsecret

i started teaching myself how to play guitar this past week with the help of a dvd from the library. it has to be one of the most painful instruments to learn. you have to press your fingers into the strings and hold them down in order to get a clear note. after the first lesson, i put the guitar away and realized i had blisters on my fingers. i waited a couple of days before i practiced again. it hurt again but not as much. the blisters had turned to callouses and i was developing a tolerance for the feeling. in fact, i found, that my fingers were searching for the same twinge of pain while looking for the correct fingering for the chords.

the lies that we tell to hide the secrets that we keep are like callous on our fingers. they protect us from our fears, from the judgment of others, of ourselves. they insulate us from what is real and painful and what is really painful. we convince ourselves that keeping the secrets and telling the lies is easier than the alternative and that no one would ever want to be around us if the truth were set free. we live in bubbles that blur reality, smooth rough edges, numb emotions, and dampen colors.

my calloused fingers seem numb now, like the tips of my fingers are perpetually asleep. i don’t have the feeling in them that i did just a week ago. it’s remarkable how quickly the body will act to protect itself and how fast the mind will justify it.

• i knew what he was doing to her but i didn’t do anything to stop him. now i feel the guilt of it being my fault
• i peed on my sister’s face while she was sleeping b/c she broke my power ranger
• i gave blood and money to save the daughter of the woman who stole my husband
• i think i want them to divorce but i’m afraid he won’t choose me when he’s free.
• i faked the whole thing and i’ll never be able to let anyone know. everyone would be so disappointed in me.
• i love to laugh. a lot. i also sing karaoke by myself. and i love bridges.
• i’m so lost i don’t know what to do or where to go. just where i want to be.
• i haven’t eaten anything in almost 24 hours and i’m not that hungry. i wish i always felt like this that way i could lose weight.
• i realized he came into my life for a reason. it’s going to be happy but i hope it’s not love.
• 20 years later, i still think i see the man who raped me every once and a while. i never mention it t whoever i’m with…
• the 1 time i was happy i was dating a married man 11 yrs older than me. he had no job no car and cheated on me. id never take it back
• i always thought the phrase bored to tears was an overstatement. until today. the sad part is i have a boyfriend, family, and friends who i love and love me. but i am so bored i want to pull my hair out.
• i wonder if i am truly happy, or if i tell myself that because that’s what people want to see
• i'm utterly terrified of not being cared about.
• i see that picture of your lips, and stare at it... i really want to kiss them and hope it makes your hurt go away, for a while.
• i don't hate him. looking in my son's face, all i want to do is thank him.
• i’m only 19 but i know who i want to spend the rest of my life with, yesterday he purposed to his 17 year old girlfriend of a year and now i feel like i have nothing to live for. i’ve convinced myself that no one will ever be as good as him and now no one is. i’m gonna be alone forever
• i wish that my life was on the line instead of his so i know that his family can see him again
• i met the kid i REALLY like about a month ago. here’s the problem, he’s gay. shows how good my life’s gonna be
• it has been a year & a half since i ended my ten year marriage. i had an online relationship w/a married man for 3 years before i left. i didn’t leave because of my online fling; it was really over before i left my husband. but since i left, i have not dated, and haven’t wanted to. my ex is blissfully happy w/a girlfriend. oh, did i mention i lost my job 3 months ago? i am losing my apartment. if i ever doubted God, He has shown me He is real and punishing me
• i don’t believe in God but i do believe in karma so i think i must have done something to deserve all of this and i’m always waiting for the next crisis to start.
• i am twenty years old and no where near becoming the person i always thought i would be at this age.
• we fell in love when i was 12 and he 21. we’re still together. it’s a special love that no one understands but that doesn’t mean it’s not love. we’re getting married
• i overeat because i don’t like myself and i don’t like myself because i’m so overweight
• he’ll never know we were going to have another child. i will never tell him and i feel like i will go to hell for that. he left on a saturday and i fixed the problem on monday. he wants more and i just want fake breasts.
• i was o obsessed with making him the happiest person, with protecting him. now that we broke up i’m obsessed with being the girl that ruins his life.
• i want to kill myself because i’ve had arthritis since i was 12. i’m afraid i won’t be able to do anything as it progresses and life won’t be worth living anymore.
• i just want to run away with and be happy. no one suspects “us” and i know they wouldn’t like it. but i’m in love with him and couldn’t be happier!
• i’m a 19 year old orphan with a brain tumor. i’m not going to tell anyone and i won’t get the surgery. i’d rather die on my own terms than waster away.
• i don’t think anyone will ever love me, i don’t blame them.
• i'm so lost.
• i’m choosing my fiancé over my dad and nothing has ever hurt worse
• i started college last month. i’m surrounded by people and friends but i’ve never felt more alone.
• i should be the one kissing him. after all i’ve done for him… i deserve the chance to be with him again. i’m starting to lose hope in everything.
• i have the urge to wish for him every 11:11 an then i wonder what is wrong with me. i broke up with him. as much as I hate to admit it, things are different between us. we’re not as far apart as i’d like to believe and no matter how i felt about him, love or hate, i was never apathetic. so now i find myself yearning for him to yet again experience the rage, the ecstasy. though i hold guilt as to whether it’s him i want or my desire for how he makes me feel. am i really falling for the one i abused in the first place?
• i finally admit it – she cheated on me. i’m not mad anymore. i kinda needed to be free
• i saw my secret on your blog. my secret is real, i cried as i wrote it. but somehow to see it written there makes me feel fake. i guess that is my secret too. i am fake.
• sometimes i’m afraid the only man i’ll ever love is the one who abused me. i was strong enough to kick him out, but i don’t think i’ll ever really leave him.
• i refuse to quit smoking because it’s the only way i get breaks at work.
• my worst fear is getting my fingernails ripped off. so i bite them and cut them down
• sometimes when i’m feeling more lonely than usual i use the 3 extra pillows in my bed and put them in a line next to me and i just put an arm around the pillows cause i fall asleep so much quicker pretending that it’s you and that you are not gone forever

textsecret

i know we all find comfort and solace in the secrets that we read either on postsecret, the postsecret myspace blog, or right here. i’ve found a community of similarly tense, angry, hurt, anxious, elated, and sad souls baring secrets that often mirror my own. i don’t relate to every secret and sometimes i don’t even understand them, but i always relate to the torment of keeping secrets.

this project has been great for me because i no longer have to wait until sunday to read the twenty secrets that frank posts and, since they are coming directly to me, i feel a stronger connection with them. there are, in fact, times where it seems that instead of receiving an anonymous text about someone’s secret, some stranger is sending me a text to comment on my life directly. i know this is irrational, but when i read a text at 3am in a half-sleeping stupor, it sometimes feels eerily relevant to my own life.

so many of this week’s text were like that for me. it’s like getting a fortune in a cookie that actually means something to you, or having an old friend call out of the blue at the very instant you are thinking about them. i wonder if these aren’t signs that i should be paying attention to or if i am just reading more into it then i should. maybe i am imbuing it with more meaning than is really there. after all, these texts are about the senders and not about me.

anyway, thanks to all of you who sent in new secrets. keep releasing them into the wind and the grip they have on our lives will lessen until we can be free and fly away happy.

• i talk to my ex still and sometimes the enormity of love he feels nauseates me. i think he’s pathetic and i want him to move on but he won’t
• he's cheated on me so many times that i don’t feel the same way for him anymore. the only reason it seems i haven’t left him is our son, and that he needs me. even though i don’t love him i can’t just throw him out.
• i wonder how long it will take the people at work to realize that i do nothing all day, hate all of them, and only stay for the check and benefits
• every time my roommates start talking about relationships, it makes me wish i wasn’t gay
• my mom is the only reason i haven’t killed myself. i could never hurt her like that after all we have been through together.
• j.s.e. saved my life. i wish i could tell her how much she means to me. i haven’t cut since i talked to her june 3rd, 2008!
• i have never hated my life as much as i do now. i want to leave him, but my lover doesn’t want me anymore
• i’m running away with a man i met a week ago. i’m not telling anyone. no family – no friends. i’m already so scared BUT SO SO in love!
• i go to shows and concerts in hopes of meeting my soul mate singing along to my favorite songs.
• i don't believe in god...but i'm also afraid i will burn in hell... what does this mean?
• my only hope in life is a man i’ve never met
• i wish my husband would die in iraq
• it’s been 22 years since she died and i’ve never felt more ashamed about the disappointment i must be
• i hate how my mom always compares me to other people n points out all my flaws. she makes me feel like shit.
• after 8 years, on monday i finally told him i am in love with him. today he told me that i wasn’t in love with him and that i was only in love with the thought of him. i just want him to believe me.
• when i was 14 my mom left the state to go live with her bf 3000 miles away
• i secretly think he’s in love with his sister
• i plan on leaving this place and never speaking to anybody here ever again even my best friends
• i miss being myself. i moved this summer. and i’d get shot if i was the real me here
• i plan on fooling around with my friend who has a gf
• i use boys
• i’m always just the friend, but i love being guys friends too much to stop
• i’m wayyyy too shallow. i won’t even be friends with ugly people
• i push guys away cause i fear it will be my fault in the end i broke up with my boyfriend tonight because i’m in love with a man i’ve never even met. he cried… and that broke my heart
• i broke up with my fiancé a few months ago but i am already in love again. yet i can’t commit to him in any way either because i still have this picture in my head of my ex coming back and marrying me. it makes me feel guilty and want to disappear and never have to deal with either of them again.
• my girlfriend is pregnant
• i don’t want him to leave but i want him to do what is best for him. damn the army for taking him away from me.
• i think i love him. i think i need him. but i will never find out without loosing him, and by then it would be too late. i don't know how to explain it, but he is my world. and i guess that counts as love.
• "i'm never alone, i'm alone all the time" -- not just song lyrics, it's my secret.
• i want him more than anything in my life but i’m so afraid that he doesn’t want me
• i pretend not to care and not to be scared but he hurt my heart so bad. i’m just willing to wait for someone to heal it for as long as it takes now.
• i know that he can save me but i’m too afraid to ask
• i told him my deepest secret and now i think everything has changed and i’m terrified of losing what little of him i have left.
• i hide my bipolar disorder but it gives me an unrelenting anger, guilt, and sorrow that hurts the ones i love
• i love my son but am so agoraphobic i make up excuses so occasionally his father will keep him. i just can’t face the world some days
• i broke up with the only kid i’ve ever felt for most. he liked me for a month and then moved on to a new girl. it’s been 6 months. i have a boyfriend but i’m in love with my ex and i don’t believe i will ever move on
• i still hate my life even though i promised him i didn’t
• after thinking about it for 6 months, i am finally going to kiss the sexy man behind the bar next saturday night. he has no idea. neither does my boyfriend.
• dear brother, you don’t think i remember but i know you molested me when i was younger. it was the reason i can’t be with any guy. i can’t shake the memories. i’m afraid you ruined my life.
• i’m scared of everything. everyone thinks i’m a great person and i’m honest and trustworthy. i am a wonderful liar.
• he told me he’ll stop smoking weed for me. i feel horrible… i want him to stop because he wants to
• i only have been acting like a whore since i met him that day at the show. i do exactly what he does. i don’t know why.
• i’m scared that i’m unconsciously manipulative, just because i’m a scorpio
• i think it’s weird how ppl feel so much more comfortable talking about how they feel to strangers rather than friends and family. but i feel that way too.
• i miss love, but am too afraid of it to want it.
• i have no friends. in an effort to with someone even if i never heard from them again i put my number on myspace. no one has texted me. i am sad
• there’s this deep misery in my soul. sometimes it goes numb and i feel ok. it always comes back when i’m alone. i cant talk about it because i don’t know what’s wrong. it’s going to cause me to push everyone away.
• you are not alone.
• when i was 8 or 9 i saw my dad choking my mom… all i did was run out of the room crying… i still feel guilty i didn’t do anything.
• i’m going to be an aunt.
• i know i need to lose weight. i look like a female linebacker. but i am only happy when i’m shoving food in my mouth.
• sometimes i wonder if it’s possible to be in love with a celebrity you’ve never met. i’m not just a fangirl, i’d love him even if he wasn’t their drummer.
• he used me for sex. i’m still going to miss him when he leaves.
• my biggest shame in grade school was i never learned to jump rope. i’m in college and i still can’t. all the kids who made fun of me dropped out or got pregnant. they could all jump rope.
• “if i could i would shrink myself and sink through your skin to your blood cells remove whatever makes you hurt but i am too weak to be your cure” that song will always remind me of you, dad. i forgive you. finally.
• i just lost my job and i’m SO HAPPY!
• my mother hoped that by me switching jobs would kill our relationship, when in fact it’s only made it stronger
• my father died in car accident 7 years ago. i finally have proof that it was murder. and i promise that my revenge will be an accident too
• i never get naked during sex cause i’m afraid that if they see my fat body naked they won’t want to fuck anymore.
• i’m only 19 but everyday i make a conscious effort to be diff than my mom bc i’m so scared my future kids will grow up to hate me
• i love my best friend, she doesn’t realize she’s harming herself. i feel bad but i told her so.
• i’m afraid that i’ll never find someone who loves me as much as i love them.
• i’m scared of lawn mowers
• i love him. and i miss him. but he has done so much bad to me that after 5 months i don’t know what to do or if his not contacting me might be his way of doing good by me finally.
• i’ve been grieving over my ex boyfriend all month but now i’m just starting to learn the lesson that if someone wants to walk out of your life… …you should let them go.
• i am giving up on love. it screwed me over.
• i do not know what i want to do after high school but i know i don’t want to wait too long and screw my life over like my sister did to hers
• i’m tired of people telling me how beautiful i am. i’m afraid i’ll start to believe it.
• my husband is going back to iraq in a few months and i don’t know if i can go another 12 months without kissing