textsecret

i pray everyone will have a safe new year's eve and that the new year brings some relief from the burden of the secrets we carry.

as always, thank you for sharing...

here are this week's secrets:

• to whom ever is waiting until after the holidays to kill yourself, please don’t. i wish i knew who you were.
• i can’t feel it.
• there were two of us at work who were spending christmas alone. only she was invited to anyone's house. i hate my co-workers.
• i am the happiest i have ever been and it’s because of you. but you’re leaving saturday. my heart is breaking knowing i won’t see you for four months. you’re amazing.
• for christmas, my brother got everything i need to pursue my dream. i no longer have any hope for life.
• i want to be an english teacher when i’m older. i’m so happy i’ve finally figured out what i want to do.
• i think my best friend is starting to realize that she is becoming less and less important to me and it’s actually hurting me more than i thought it would.
• i am always scared that people are dead when they are actually sleeping so i always have to check to see if they are breathing or wake them.
• i live for the future because i have nothing that is holding me to the present.
• i’m 16 and i don’t know how to talk to my dad. the only way we connect is through the music he liked when he was a kid.
• don’t you see how uncomfortable i get when you talk to me about other girls? did you ever wonder why? it’s because i still like you.
• meeting him is the best christmas gift.
• she is always on my mind. i wish she would believe the things i say to her. i’m not the giant sweet-talker she thinks i am. i just can’t get over her that easily.
• i always say that honesty is the best policy but i feel like a hypocrite because i have seen secrets that nobody knows and i lie to myself every day.
• when my brother died, i wished it was my mother.
• i wish i were chinese so i could communicate and thus connect better with my boyfriend.
• i’ve known him for a while but now we are finally getting to know each other. i don’t know why i can’t stop thinking about him. i’ve never felt this way before.
• my ex dumped me because i wouldn’t let him have friends who were girls. i thought he cheated but i was wrong. we want to get back together but i’m too ashamed.
• i think i’m lost.
• i want to die.
• every time i get into the car i hope someone will hit me so i don’t have to kill myself.
• i’ve been to hell and back. the worst of my secrets? i’m in love. my heart isn’t made of stone. i feel stupid and weak – submissive. this isn’t me.
• i wish i had gone to my dad’s for christmas this year. i can’t wait for this day to be over.
• i’ll never be good enough for him even though he tells me i am.
• i hate christmas.
• it’s christmas eve and i can’t wait for my sister and brother to wake up and open the presents i got them. i don’t even care what i got. their smiles will be worth it!
• the only time i’ve felt truly loved is when my uncle molested me.
• it’s going to be the worst christmas without you here. i miss you so much daddy.
• disappointing my mother is worse than making her upset. i got two f’s my first semester in college. i’m afraid to tell her.
• i’m starting to think i love my online bf more than i will ever love my husband.
• i’m more excited than scared that i might be pregnant. i just don’t know how to tell my parents.
• i hate my feminist friend. i think she is an annoying, hypocritical bitch!
• my boyfriend has all of the missing qualities that i wanted for my ex but he doesn’t have some of the qualities that i liked.
• i had unprotected sex with an ex for five years and never got pregnant. my boyfriend of 18 months and i have had unprotected sex for 3 months and i might be pregnant.
• i’m afraid the past will catch up with me and he will find out i kissed his close friends, 3 months after he broke up with me.
• i’ve been cutting off and on for six years now. no one knows. even those who have seen every inch of me. my little sister is supposed to be the weak one.
• please don’t tell. let me keep the tiny bit of self-control i have. i need this. this is the only thing that comforts me.
• i’m sorry that i write on all of the receipts that you’re supposed to take to court.
• even though it was a lie, i almost wish it was the truth so i wouldn’t have to be friends with you.
• if she keeps acting like this I will stop talking to her. she hasn’t changed a bit.
• i buy damaged objects because i feel bad choosing the perfect ones over them. i’m damaged too after all.
• i haven’t told anyone about being sexually assaulted at a party because i should have been smart enough not to leave my drink alone.
• as much as i don’t want to admit this, his un-employment is affecting our relationship. i love him with all of my heart and will not leave him but the pressure of being the bread winner is beginning to take its toll.
• my favorite place to read is on the toilet.
• i kinda wish boys really did have cooties.
• my friend and i fooled around a month after she got married. now she thinks she is bi.
• i don’t want to regret him but i would trade it all to be with you. i’m afraid that my silence then is the reason for yours now. i miss you.
• i am in love with my best friend. i keep walking away but it’s like being tied to a rubber band. i just want to curl up and die because he can’t love me.
• i feel like i can’t get enough air into my lungs and i’m constantly on the verge of suffocating. i have no idea. it keeps me up at night.
• i wish my mom & step dad could disappear so the abuse could stop.
• i have a tendency to get attached to every guy who enters my life.
• i left him and moved to another state hoping it would be better. i still love him and want him back. i don’t think he wants me anymore. all i do is cry.
• i'm scared of sleeping directly underneath a fan. i can't stand it. i get freaked that it might fall down and chop me up. i lay awake for hours if i'm under a fan
• i want him all the time... he wont escape my thoughts.
• you’re going into the army. you’re my suicidal soldier. i still can’t say i love you and want you to stay. i love you. always will. please come home.
• i get sad every time i read that someone else wants to kill themselves. i wish i could stop everyone from suicide.
• i’m incredibly risque in the hopes of getting raped so i can blame not being a virgin on someone besides myself.
• i was scared. i’m sorry i turned away.
• i try to be bulimic but it just doesn’t work. how hard can it be to shove a finger down your throat?
• i was best friends with a girl i thought i’d never be friends with and i kinda had a crush on her. i’m a girl and i don’t like girls. she never knew until after we stopped being friends. it took me almost a year to get over. i hate her.

i've received more picture texts this week, and i am excited to share them, but i am having a bit of a time posting them so they will have to wait for now. i'm sorry. if you wish to email me a picture with a secret, my address is: iwii@yahoo.com. i will continue working on the problem and try to get them all up next week.

a few things i have learned in my 38 years:

1. you cannot base your faith on conditions of reward, wish fulfillment, or proof. you either have faith or you don’t.
2. to be honestly apologetic, the words, “i’m sorry”, cannot be followed by the word, “but” (i.e. “i’m sorry i kicked you in the shin, but you had it coming” or; “i’m sorry that i cheated on you, but she was all over me and i was drunk”). the word “but” essentially cancels out the apology by creating a disclaimer that, whatever the apology was for, wasn’t really your fault anyway.
3. irregardless is not a word
4. when shopping for gifts, we spend far too much time concerned about if the person will like it or not. If a person doesn’t like a gift i got for them, they can toss it for all i care. it truly is the thought that counts and if you can’t appreciate that someone went out of their way to get you a gift then you probably don’t deserve a gift in the first place.
5. for some reason, i maintain an infinite level of patience in order to help others with their problems and sincerely believe the advice i dole out is best for them, but i’m convinced my own advice would never work for me.
6. finding a good therapist is very difficult, but so worth it.
7. an economy cannot be “grown”. nor can a business, customer base, government services, or many other things. these all can be strengthened, built, increased, or fortified, but never grown.
8. my self-esteem has no concept of any logic based in a reality outside of my head.

as always, thank you all again for sharing your secrets. here they are for this week:

• my mom’s best friend died from an overdose. her husband is the one suspected to have done it. i have a crush on him... i always hope i run into him. i know this is horrible but i can’t help myself... he was always so nice to me
• i’m scared i’m never going to find the guy of my dreams. i have a boyfriend, and i have a son with him but i don’t think he is the one.
• he treated me like shit and left me heartbroken and crying but i’d give up the man who treats me like a goddess now for one more chance with him.
• my best friend of 12 years doesn’t call me or hang out with me anymore. he’s too busy with his gf to care i guess. he never tells me that i mean anything to him.
• i’m attracted to the man who allegedly overdosed my friend.
• i found gay porn on your computer. you said it was a virus. i hope that was the truth. i love you too much. i don’t want to lose you.
• i can’t stop thinking about him. at school i scan the hallways and lunchroom for him. i feel like such a whore.
• she said she was late. so was i. he freaked so we took a break. he said he would be with her if she was pregnant. She wasn’t. I was. I lost the baby and him.
• i have more reasons to cut now than when i was doing it. i’m afraid of starting again.
• i hate that i love him but i wouldn’t love to hate him.
• i’m so happy I responded to her text. she has been a bright light in my dark world ever since. It breaks my heart to think we might never be together
• i talk to people that aren’t real when no one’s around. at least my imaginary friends are always there for me.
• the guys i sleep with don’t use condoms. i’m not on birth control. i am completely clean and disease free. i haven’t ever been pregnant. either i’m just really lucky or it will turn out that i can’t have kids.
• i killed my goldfish on purpose.
• as my parents are getting ready to put me into an institution i’m realizing that suicide probably is the answer.
• i wish that just one of my more mundane fantasies would come true. then i could believe in god’s goodness again.
• i told my parents that i cut myself because of stuff with friends and school just because i didn’t want to hurt them by telling them they were the real reason.
• i don’t like you like that anymore. good luck with your life.
• your thoughts of suicide are bullshit. don’t lie about that. you know who you are.
• you replaced me with her, tell her you love her. you tell me you want me to stop being in your life and even to stop looking at you. i’m sorry. i’ll always love you.
• i think my best friend tried to tell me he likes me tonight. i hope he tries again.
• i’ve just been fired and i don’t know how to tell my parents. i’ve worked at different places over the last ten years but i’ve never been fired. i feel like a failure.
• i’m in love with my 30 year old girlfriend but she doesn’t know how to budget money, take out the trash, or wash a god damned dish. i’m not sure if i can stay with her.
• everyone tells me i am too good for him. he hurt me because of another girl. i still want him.
• i write him text messages i will never send. i doubt he’d even care if i did.
• i just found out today that my favorite grandma died in 2003.
• i want to kill myself.
• i texted her today to see if she was even alive. after not talking to her for so long i feared she had killed herself. she’s alive. i’m slightly disappointed.
• i had a miscarriage and i didn’t even tell him i was pregnant.
• i am waiting until after the holidays to kill myself. i’m just tired of living.
• i’m a 23 year old guy who has always dated women. i’m learning that i’m willing to put up with things that i shouldn’t when dating a guy because they are harder to find.
• i sometimes have a rush of hatred towards people with a passion.
• i don’t know how 2 say yes.
• he is no you, baby.
• i’m sorry i cheated but the cheating was the best 3 months of my life.
• i don’t have the power to hate my mother. she went through hell and back to have me. i do honestly think i could hate my dad. i really have no reason not to except that hate is a sin.
• i keep messing up and when i try harder not to i mess up even more.
• i just bought a shirt for myself with the money my mom gave me to buy my little sister a christmas present.
• i loved my dad a lot. now he’s sick and dying and it feels like he’s already dead. i can’t say if i love him at all anymore.
• i read because i prefer the books to reality. sometimes i wish something or someone would take me away on my own adventure. i just don't want to live this 'normal' life anymore.
• you say i’m the most beautiful girl in the world. but when we get naked, don't think i don't notice how you look at my scars like they're the most disgusting thing on earth.
• my mom gave me to my grandma so she could raise me....but kept my sister and brother. i love my childhood...but still it hurts.
• i finally figured out that my biggest fear isn’t losing him but forgetting him and of that i am truly terrified.
• my fiance died almost 2 years ago. i overheard some of my family talking about me the other day wondering if my heart will ever work right again... i wonder the same everyday, but it hurts to hear other people say it.
• i tell my boyfriend that i’m ugly just so i can hear him say i’m pretty…
• you ask me why i think i’m not good enough for you. i tell you it's because i’m crazy. you say i’m not. you don't know that i still cut myself, still starve myself, have unbearable mood swings, and abuse my mother's medication. seriously, sweetheart, you have no idea.
• i say I hate you because i’m afraid of loving you.
• we may not like the same composers but we both like hot cheetos and monsters and i love her even with our differences.
• i thought i loved my ex. i wanted a future with him. he didn’t feel the same.
• i have never done drugs or had sex; everyone just assumes the worst about me.
• i lost my virginity to my best friend’s boyfriend. i had only met him two weeks before.
• i’m marrying a boy i’m not sure i love because i don’t know if anyone else would ever marry me.
• i started new antidepressant meds today. it’s the first time i’ve needed any. i’m really glad to have the help. and i like having an excuse for a sluggish mind.
• i lost my virginity to a man who is twice my age that i met on myspace.
• i have sex with guys because it feels better than being alone in my own bed even if it doesn’t last long.
• if i was not beautiful, i would have no other reason to live.
• i honestly don’t think i could so much as look at you anymore if you fell in love with someone else. i still love you. we cant just give up.
• when i was pretending to be straight, i cheated on my girlfriend with her male friend. they are now dating and i can’t wait to tell her.
• i see pictures of you on facebook with your other cousins. do you remember me?
• i’m scared everyday that he will leave me again. i stopped eating and sleeping and i feel numb. i wish he would assure me i have nothing to worry about.
• i was awake during half the time that she was revealing her thoughts because she thought i was asleep
• i’m perfectly happy alone. i’m not jealous of my friends in relationships i’m actually sad for them for not understanding how beautiful loving yourself is.
• i want to cut out my intestines so i can’t eat and can then lose weight.
• i could never be more ashamed of myself than i am when i eat. i have no self-control without drugs to rely on. when i eat i don’t feel i deserve any form of affection.
• if something were to happen to him i would regret it to the point of knowing i couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning. i call it love.
• my best friend doesn’t know that i’m in love with him. he doesn’t even know that i’m gay.
• i hate her for making him miserable but i hate even more that i understand what she is doing.
• i want a baby. i’m 21 and i know i can’t take care of one but all of my friends have them or are pregnant and i’m jealous.
• i’m afraid of growing old alone.
• i would kill to know what goes on in his head when he is looking at me. i feel like he reads my emotions even though i try to hide them. it’s comforting.
• his name was mike and he single-handedly destroyed me. i hope i pop into his head at the worst possible times and that, even for a second, he misses me.
• i just found out my daughter is autistic. i act strong but, in truth, i want to cry every time i look at her.
• we broke up a year ago on our one year anniversary. he is dating the girl he cheated on me with but now he cheats on her with me.
• i hate waiting for, “i love you”.
• my dad is an alcoholic and he throws stuff at me. mom was my only hope and now she’s having an affair on the neighbor and partying every night. i’m giving up on life.
• i’m scared that i’m losing my best friend. he is also my ex, and my son’s father. he is moving to florida because i won’t be with him. being a teen parent is hard.
• i am in love with my child’s doctor who is 22 years older than me.
• i feel better having read your blog. it feels like i’m getting a glimpse into the future. i am waiting t see how you do. i feel i’m where you were a year ago.
• my boyfriend bought me a ring to show me how much he wants us to be together. it’s cute but i think he’s over his head, plus there’s the fact i am in love with another boy.
• i wish i could find my old razor… it would feel so good to fall again.
• i found out i’m not pregnant. even though i’m still a teen i’m kind of bummed.
• mom, you should have had an abortion. i promise things would have been easier that way.
• i’m in love. someone out there does love you. don’t give up. i didn’t.
• everyday i dream of ways you’ll break up with him and come back to me. i’m still waiting for you.
• i’m falling for a boy who lives 3000 miles away. i feel really hurt when he doesn’t say anything especially flirty when we talk, but i know nothing can happen because of the distance. i don’t like caring so much, it can only lead to pain, but what can i do?
• sometimes i want to kill myself because i’m afraid to go on with my life.
• we’ve only been talking for 2 weeks but 2 nights ago he slipped and said he loved me when i was leaving. i just wish he really meant it. at least then i wouldn’t have false hope.
• today i heard my mom and sister talking and laughing about me. i want to cut again.
• i wish she would tell me she loves me

i got my first picture secret!

here are this week's secrets. thank you all again for sharing.

• i clicked on your page to tell you a secret but i got too distracted by all of the pictures on your page. hope you have a good weekend
• “we’re one mistake from being together but let’s not ask why it’s not right you won’t be 17 forever and we can get away with this tonight.” this song fits my situation.
• when my mother asked if the fact that he molested me was the reason i cut, i lied. he ruined my life. thanks for believing me, though, mom.
• i wish my parents would have taken a stronger stand with me in high school. they knew i had depression and eating problems and would express their worry and tell me i should get help but didn’t act on this.
• i had sex with my best friend’s mom. she was my first.
• i wish i could tell you how i felt and you’d feel the same. i wish you could be here for me. i wish you could be someone you’re not.
• i’m so lazy and tired that i barely even shower anymore and my friends have no clue.
• say the word and i’ll quit my job and move to boston for you. the only changes i want to make are so i will fit the mold of some perfect arm-candy for you.
• everyday i get closer to killing myself. the feeling of hopelessness is just too much for me.
• my dad has only a year to live but i wish he would die today.
• i saw your secret. you’re so selfish for thinking that way. i’ve gotten over my suicide fantasies because of him. don’t ruin it for me.
• i’m a straight girl but i watch lesbian porn because i hate the way women are portrayed in hetero porn.
• each day, the eating disorder my mother thinks i’m over gets worse. my doctor told me to return in a month to see if i had improved. that was over a year ago. i’m always sick and i miss school with pathetic excuses and my depression is beginning to show through. i’m so scared.
• i’m too intrigued by her boyfriend.
• i’m in total love with my best friend but i can’t tell her. it’s just too hard.
• i really like him and i know he likes me but we can’t bring ourselves to say it to each other and i fear it won’t go any farther than this.
• i think about my daddy and uncle when i masturbate.
• i smile real big and pretend to be happy when i’m at work dealing with customers. really, i just want to crawl under a rack of clothes and cry.
• every secret about someone missing someone else gives me hope that he might miss me too but is too afraid to tell me like i am too afraid to tell him.
• seeing everyone posting their numbers makes me want to cry. i wish i could be friends with everyone.
• sometimes i wish i never met you. but other times i think of how you’re probably the only person in my life that i would jump on front of a bullet for.
• after fasting for 29 hours i lost 3.5 pounds. i plan to do it again this week. i’ve cut myself over 300 times and i don’t want to stop.
• i still love him.
• i love the song “mmmbop” by hanson!
• whenever i see my best friend’s innocent smile i remember how everyone can be easily hurt no matter how hard they act and how much it hurts to fall in love.
• i want a fresh start but i can’t let him go unless i have someone to take his place. losing his 200 texts a day scares me to death.
• i would give anything for him to talk to me right now. more than that, i just want to see him and hug him. to me that would cure this weak feeling inside of me.
• at this moment in my life i have never felt so powerless, vulnerable, and weak. i feel like i’m disappointing everybody. i want to tell someone how lonely i am.
• i will never be good enough.
• i worry i’m incapable of love. every relationship that starts as love quickly devolves into lust. do i use his emotions to get his body?
• i’ve lost almost all trust in you.
• after being the scared little victim for years i’m finally angry. i want him to be violated too. i fantasize about his death. this sudden hatred scares me.
• i have anxiety depression and constant panic attacks and i can hardly stand the thought of eating anymore and i just want one person to reach out and stay.
• every time i am walking somewhere i still wish he would drive by, realize it’s me, and stop to say hello. i know it will never happen again.
• i hate when people call me a whore or crazy because i’m afraid that it’s true.
• i’m such a cougar and it’s thrilling!
• i’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years. he scares me but i’m even more terrified of what will happen if i leave.
• i hate how everyone feels that receiving love is so necessary when loving others is so much more important.
• more than the guy who got me into drugs, i hate my high school friends who weren’t there for me at my downfall.
• i started cutting again.
• i tell my friends that i would never be the other girl but i really love it because it makes me feel pretty knowing that even though they have a girlfriend they still want me and are willing to mess up a relationship for it. i know it’s bad but that makes it more fun.
• i’m terrified people will think i’m a slut because my best friends are boys. i’m also scared people will think i am in love with my best friend, and some think he loves me, but i just want to be his friend forever.
• i want to tell them all it will be okay. i made small goals to get through each day and before i knew it a year had passed and my problems weren’t so bad. i finally felt like i could handle them.
• i want to have sex with all of my brother’s friends.
• i wish i could stop talking to everyone and just keep to myself. i don’t because of him. he’s the only one who’s made me feel worth it and been there for me.
• i can feel myself changing into a different type of person and i am really excited.
• tonight, everyone from work is going to a christmas event downtown; everyone and their significant others. i feel so left out. when will it be my turn?
• i feel lonely.
• you’re the biggest shithead i know but i’ll try not to give up on you.
• i think i may be pregnant and i’m only a teen but i have a positive outlook about it.
• i try so hard to be everyone’s “go to” when they need anything. that’s all i ever wanted, to be there for everyone, but i feel i don’t do a good enough job.
• i let my dog lick me down there!
• i’ve known him for a week and he has changed my life. i’m so happy i found him and i don’t care what anyone thinks.
• i still blame myself for you losing your baby. if i hadn’t said it might be better without him he would be here in your arms now.
• i’m bi and i wanted to tell my friend (who is also bi) all weekend long but i wasn’t sure if i was ready to tell anyone. i still want to tell her but i can’t.
• i’m sick of being 2nd best.
• i can’t tell my dad i’m gay because i feel like i’m letting him down. how can i tell him he won’t be walking his daughter down the aisle?
• he broke my heart then told me he loved me and needed me back. i gave in because i don’t have enough respect for myself to think i might find someone else that loves me.
• i settle for less because if i have more i will forever be afraid someone will steal it from me.
• i fell in love with you when you took me to get a christmas tree with your family. i finally felt like i belonged somewhere.
• i hate that my brother is home for the holidays. he ruined my life. he doesn’t deserve to be home. i don’t care if he’s paying for my therapy.
• overly religious people annoy me more than i can express. i can't decide if it's because i hate their enthusiasm and certainty about something that can't be proven, or if it's because i envy it.
• i hate my best friend of 12 years because she is fucking my supposedly "gay" other best friend....
• i don’t know why i’m taking the pills. i don’t think i want to be better. i honestly want to feed an addiction, create something beautiful, and go out with a bang
• the fact that i have no gag reflex is eating me up right now.
• i wish you were waiting for me at home with lots of hugs and kisses.
• i feel like it’s my job to fix the world’s problems.
• i’m terrified that i’m falling for this guy and he doesn’t feel the same way. i’m paranoid that i’m rushing into this and am going to get pushed away.
• i want to kill myself but i’m afraid i’ll fail at that also.
• i’ll do anything to stop feeling like i’m losing you to everyone around me. i miss you more than you could possibly comprehend even though you’re right next to me.
• my best friend lost her virginity to a one night stand. i told her i wasn’t disappointed and that i didn’t think any less of her. i lied.
• when he said he felt weird about us, in my mind all i could do was agree. i hope it works out.
• i hope you're not gay and i wish i had never seen those pictures on your computer.
• i laugh and roll my eyes at the fickleness of men but deep down it hurts that i was replaced so quickly.

i'm sorry this is a bit late. i know for some readers this is being posted after midnight on the 9th. computer problems and all. i try. i really do.

i did have something all typed up to put in this space. stuff about trust and honesty but i'm not using my regular computer so i don't have that file with me. i will post it next week.

i was very pleased with the thanksgiving challenge last week so i think i will start incorporating that into a regular feature. it most likely won't be weekly. probably once a month will be all i can do to come up with good challenges that a good number of folks will be interested in responding to. i want to try to keep them topical and seasonal also. this is a bit of a challenge for myself so you all will just have to stay tuned to see how i do.

thank you again for trusting me with your secrets. keep telling folks about the project please. tell them about postsecret and textsecret. encourage them to participate and subscribe. and please, if you are thinking of hurting yourself or are hurting yourself currently, ask for help and get treatment. so much help is available you just need to ask.

have a safe week...

here are this week's secrets...

• after years of letting acne destroy my life accutane saved me. i don't care about the risks and side effects. it was sooo worth it. i finally feel beautiful.
• i go through my ex's comments and top friends and automatically hate every girl on there, no matter who they are, out of mad jealousy.
• i'm angry at myself for really falling for him and being stupid enough to still love him after he left me.
• i wish the texts about being in love with a best friend were about me.
• i think about him 24/7 and sometimes i think he loves me too…
• i wish you would tell me what is under your bed...
• i despise someone i've never met and i hope he's miserable every single day.
• i wish i was disciplined enough to have an eating disorder so i can finally be thin enough to love myself.
• i'm 18, i might be pregnant, and even though i am young, i will take the best damn care of this kid as i possibly can.
• i tried not to fall so hard this time, but i did. he made it easy to want to love him. he broke my heart, and even though i still love him,
• i will never forgive him.
• i moved to oregon to live with my mom and dad and run away from a broken heart. the pain in georgia is still with me here. now i just want to kill myself so i don't have to cry every night.
• i tried to kill myself. i'm 13. i'm truly broken that it didn't work, but i would never try again, because i'm scared of what my mother would think. she scares me so much.
• i hate my best friend's boyfriend because now she would rather be with him. i liked it better when they were broken up during the summer.
• i hope we don't qualify to rent the house so that i won't have to see my sister cry because she'll miss me i think i'll miss her most.
• i think i'm starting to fall in love with an older boy. he makes me feel so special and loved. i'm more excited about the possibilities with him than anything.
• sometimes i wonder if she thinks about me the same way i think about her. hopefully i'll have the guts to do what i've been dying to do for so long.
• i'm lost and alone.
• i think i have a hair fetish.
• i've been a prima ballerina for 16 years and never felt pressured to lose weight. i have a huge show in two weeks. i will starve myself until then.
• everyday i fight my desires in order to remain sane just because my fantasies are considered deviant.
• to the 29 year old afraid of the dark: i'm 33 and push my dresser in front of my bedroom door every night because the dark outside of my room terrifies me so much.
• i had a miscarriage last summer but i didn't even tell anyone i was pregnant because i wasn't sure who the daddy was.
• i'm waiting until the final minute to do all of my final projects for this semester. i've never felt such a rush.
• i'm in love with two people but engaged to only one.
• kiss me like you mean it!
• i like textsecret best because my secrets get posted unlike postsecret where i'm never good enough.
• i have terrifying dreams of murderers and stalkers that turn into waking nightmares when i wake up but can't move at all and am still dreaming.
• i pretend to be happy so i don't make my friends feel bad. i see them happy and it makes me feel even worse. i'm afraid i'll always be this lonely.
• it's ok if he doesn't love me but if i tell him then i'll know for certain and i'll know he's too good for me; just like his friends tell him.
• i got high with my dad and not even my best friend knows.
• she makes me want to hurt her or, even more so, myself. i've thought about suicide just so i won't have to listen.
• i still love you x. i'm not over this and i'm afraid i never will be.
• i cry every time i take a pregnancy test and it comes back negative. it makes me feel like a failure as a woman.
• you never gave me closure and i need it so bad….
• while i was winning races and getting a's in school he was slipping through the cracks and needed help but no one noticed. last night he got arrested.
• on my sweet16 i was 86 pounds and one of the unhappiest people i knew. by my 17th i hope to have lost 10 more pounds.
• one day im gonna stand up and punch that kid who teases the quiet girls in study hall in the face.
• i'm terrified to delete the pictures off of my phone and computer in case the people in them die and i'll never see them again.
• my dad died two weeks before my 18th birthday. 2 days before he die i told him i hated him. it was the only time i had ever told him that. i blame myself. i'm sorry.
• my morbidity frightens me.
• i love my bf so much i want us to have a future together. get married, have kids, and everything. i'm only sixteen though.
• i think I'm in love with him (and it terrifies me).
• i'm sweaty, been up for 18 hours, and starving. i had my first dance recital tonight and the way my bf looked at me when i was up there made me feel beautiful again.
• i stay up all night hoping to hear the words, "you're beautiful" from anyone. i have extremely low self-esteem.
• i don't cut because i'm sad, i cut because it pleasures me. the best place to cut is the hip bone. two slices a night seems a fair reward for each day i endure.
• i only stand for the pledge of allegiance because of my airman. he defends my freedom and i stand to honor him.
• when ppl ask why we aren't dating i just laugh and say because we're bffs. really i want to scream, "i don't know! i fucking love him!" and i really hope he loves me the same.
• i peed the bed once and blamed the dog.
• "did my heart love until now? forswear it for i never saw true beauty till this night" is how i felt the first time i saw him and that hasn't changed even after 6 months.
• i keep looking for love in all of the wrong places. the only reason i keep looking is because when i was in love was the only time i've ever been happy.
• even though it's been seven months, i still think about you every single day.
• i don't open up well and i'm afraid it will ruin my relationship someday. i'm only open and honest when i text strangers.
• i'm sick of being ditched because her mom likes those friends better.
• i'm scared for my friend, that he will hurt himself and i won't be able to help. he's pushed me away and i don't know where he is.
• i love you but because you're a boy and i'm a girl ppl think it's a romantic love. you're a great friend who makes me feel useful and i'm happy to be here to save you.
• my exbf says he loves his new gf all the while keeping a huge secret from her; me.
• i'm falling in love again and i thought i never would. it might be because he reminds me of my first love. i hope he stays with me.
• i just tricked my best friend into telling me her darkest secrets.
• i don't trust anyone.
• i am 20 and have never been kissed or done anything with a guy because i'm always told my friend is hot instead of me. i'm afraid i never will.
• i heard the old conway twitty song "it's only make believe" and realized it is exactly us, or me, and i don't know what to do about it.
• what scared me most when i was waking was when i realized i would never be able to take my life. now i have nothing to get me through the days.
• if i were removed from the equation the world would be a better place.
• i miss her so much and wish we could rewind and do it all again. i want to tell her but i'm afraid she doesn't want me anymore.
• you told me how you feel but you haven't proven it. until you can make me feel special again i won't believe you.
• i've had sex with my sister's ex twice now. it would kill her if she knew. i'm not attracted to him, i just need a warm body next to me sometimes.
• i love her more than life itself but i sometimes get scared that i'm not really gay.
• i feel like a horrible person for thinking my friend is annoying when she goes on about what happened to her.
• i pray everyday that i'll get into a fatal accident because i don't have the balls to off myself.
• my ex asked if i had sent nude pics of myself to a friend and i lied and said no. i didn't want him to know and think i'm a slut because i still love him and want him back.
• you were right. i am giving up on you.
• i've never tried to kill myself and i'm not in love with anyone. i feel very alone reading this blog.
• i must clean. dust is the devil's snow.
• i love my bf but i seek attention from random guys because i'm so insecure. i wish i could change.
• i still get giddy when he calls even if i'm mad at him. i just can't help it.
• my mind is so capable of dark and twisted thought it scares me.

textsecret

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