15.12.08





i got my first picture secret!

here are this week's secrets. thank you all again for sharing.
  • i clicked on your page to tell you a secret but i got too distracted by all of the pictures on your page. hope you have a good weekend
  • “we’re one mistake from being together but let’s not ask why it’s not right you won’t be 17 forever and we can get away with this tonight.” this song fits my situation.
  • when my mother asked if the fact that he molested me was the reason i cut, i lied. he ruined my life. thanks for believing me, though, mom.
  • i wish my parents would have taken a stronger stand with me in high school. they knew i had depression and eating problems and would express their worry and tell me i should get help but didn’t act on this.
  • i had sex with my best friend’s mom. she was my first.
  • i wish i could tell you how i felt and you’d feel the same. i wish you could be here for me. i wish you could be someone you’re not.
  • i’m so lazy and tired that i barely even shower anymore and my friends have no clue.
  • say the word and i’ll quit my job and move to boston for you. the only changes i want to make are so i will fit the mold of some perfect arm-candy for you.
  • everyday i get closer to killing myself. the feeling of hopelessness is just too much for me.
  • my dad has only a year to live but i wish he would die today.
  • i saw your secret. you’re so selfish for thinking that way. i’ve gotten over my suicide fantasies because of him. don’t ruin it for me.
  • i’m a straight girl but i watch lesbian porn because i hate the way women are portrayed in hetero porn.
  • each day, the eating disorder my mother thinks i’m over gets worse. my doctor told me to return in a month to see if i had improved. that was over a year ago. i’m always sick and i miss school with pathetic excuses and my depression is beginning to show through. i’m so scared.
  • i’m too intrigued by her boyfriend.
  • i’m in total love with my best friend but i can’t tell her. it’s just too hard.
  • i really like him and i know he likes me but we can’t bring ourselves to say it to each other and i fear it won’t go any farther than this.
  • i think about my daddy and uncle when i masturbate.
  • i smile real big and pretend to be happy when i’m at work dealing with customers. really, i just want to crawl under a rack of clothes and cry.
  • every secret about someone missing someone else gives me hope that he might miss me too but is too afraid to tell me like i am too afraid to tell him.
  • seeing everyone posting their numbers makes me want to cry. i wish i could be friends with everyone.
  • sometimes i wish i never met you. but other times i think of how you’re probably the only person in my life that i would jump on front of a bullet for.
  • after fasting for 29 hours i lost 3.5 pounds. i plan to do it again this week. i’ve cut myself over 300 times and i don’t want to stop.
  • i still love him.
  • i love the song “mmmbop” by hanson!
  • whenever i see my best friend’s innocent smile i remember how everyone can be easily hurt no matter how hard they act and how much it hurts to fall in love.
  • i want a fresh start but i can’t let him go unless i have someone to take his place. losing his 200 texts a day scares me to death.
  • i would give anything for him to talk to me right now. more than that, i just want to see him and hug him. to me that would cure this weak feeling inside of me.
  • at this moment in my life i have never felt so powerless, vulnerable, and weak. i feel like i’m disappointing everybody. i want to tell someone how lonely i am.
  • i will never be good enough.
  • i worry i’m incapable of love. every relationship that starts as love quickly devolves into lust. do i use his emotions to get his body?
  • i’ve lost almost all trust in you.
  • after being the scared little victim for years i’m finally angry. i want him to be violated too. i fantasize about his death. this sudden hatred scares me.
  • i have anxiety depression and constant panic attacks and i can hardly stand the thought of eating anymore and i just want one person to reach out and stay.
  • every time i am walking somewhere i still wish he would drive by, realize it’s me, and stop to say hello. i know it will never happen again.
  • i hate when people call me a whore or crazy because i’m afraid that it’s true.
  • i’m such a cougar and it’s thrilling!
  • i’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years. he scares me but i’m even more terrified of what will happen if i leave.
  • i hate how everyone feels that receiving love is so necessary when loving others is so much more important.
  • more than the guy who got me into drugs, i hate my high school friends who weren’t there for me at my downfall.
  • i started cutting again.
  • i tell my friends that i would never be the other girl but i really love it because it makes me feel pretty knowing that even though they have a girlfriend they still want me and are willing to mess up a relationship for it. i know it’s bad but that makes it more fun.
  • i’m terrified people will think i’m a slut because my best friends are boys. i’m also scared people will think i am in love with my best friend, and some think he loves me, but i just want to be his friend forever.
  • i want to tell them all it will be okay. i made small goals to get through each day and before i knew it a year had passed and my problems weren’t so bad. i finally felt like i could handle them.
  • i want to have sex with all of my brother’s friends.
  • i wish i could stop talking to everyone and just keep to myself. i don’t because of him. he’s the only one who’s made me feel worth it and been there for me.
  • i can feel myself changing into a different type of person and i am really excited.
  • tonight, everyone from work is going to a christmas event downtown; everyone and their significant others. i feel so left out. when will it be my turn?
  • i feel lonely.
  • you’re the biggest shithead i know but i’ll try not to give up on you.
  • i think i may be pregnant and i’m only a teen but i have a positive outlook about it.
  • i try so hard to be everyone’s “go to” when they need anything. that’s all i ever wanted, to be there for everyone, but i feel i don’t do a good enough job.
  • i let my dog lick me down there!
  • i’ve known him for a week and he has changed my life. i’m so happy i found him and i don’t care what anyone thinks.
  • i still blame myself for you losing your baby. if i hadn’t said it might be better without him he would be here in your arms now.
  • i’m bi and i wanted to tell my friend (who is also bi) all weekend long but i wasn’t sure if i was ready to tell anyone. i still want to tell her but i can’t.
  • i’m sick of being 2nd best.
  • i can’t tell my dad i’m gay because i feel like i’m letting him down. how can i tell him he won’t be walking his daughter down the aisle?
  • he broke my heart then told me he loved me and needed me back. i gave in because i don’t have enough respect for myself to think i might find someone else that loves me.
  • i settle for less because if i have more i will forever be afraid someone will steal it from me.
  • i fell in love with you when you took me to get a christmas tree with your family. i finally felt like i belonged somewhere.
  • i hate that my brother is home for the holidays. he ruined my life. he doesn’t deserve to be home. i don’t care if he’s paying for my therapy.
  • overly religious people annoy me more than i can express. i can't decide if it's because i hate their enthusiasm and certainty about something that can't be proven, or if it's because i envy it.
  • i hate my best friend of 12 years because she is fucking my supposedly "gay" other best friend....
  • i don’t know why i’m taking the pills. i don’t think i want to be better. i honestly want to feed an addiction, create something beautiful, and go out with a bang
  • the fact that i have no gag reflex is eating me up right now.
  • i wish you were waiting for me at home with lots of hugs and kisses.
  • i feel like it’s my job to fix the world’s problems.
  • i’m terrified that i’m falling for this guy and he doesn’t feel the same way. i’m paranoid that i’m rushing into this and am going to get pushed away.
  • i want to kill myself but i’m afraid i’ll fail at that also.
  • i’ll do anything to stop feeling like i’m losing you to everyone around me. i miss you more than you could possibly comprehend even though you’re right next to me.
  • my best friend lost her virginity to a one night stand. i told her i wasn’t disappointed and that i didn’t think any less of her. i lied.
  • when he said he felt weird about us, in my mind all i could do was agree. i hope it works out.
  • i hope you're not gay and i wish i had never seen those pictures on your computer.
  • i laugh and roll my eyes at the fickleness of men but deep down it hurts that i was replaced so quickly.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

i left a secret in your truth box, it didnt get posted ..
i feel like i failed at life.

Brandi said...

to the person who doesn't have their secret on the blog: Mine's on there, and it doesn't feel any better.

Anonymous said...

sometimes, when i read through these, i wish i could meet each individual person. to give them a hug and tell them that it's okay. knowing that i never will be able to makes me feel insignificant and worthless.

chibi said...

i'm sorry you didn't see you truth box secret. i just looked through all of the submissions in my truth box and didn't see anything that i omitted. if you submit it again i promise it will be included next week.

Anonymous said...

i sent in one of these secrets.

it scares me a little to read so many in the same post that could have been written by me, too.

Anonymous said...

that girl is pretty. I can't stand stereotypes these days. Take it from a guy, I'd ask her out in a heartbeat

Anonymous said...

"i’ll do anything to stop feeling like i’m losing you to everyone around me. i miss you more than you could possibly comprehend even though you’re right next to me."

This could have been my secret a month ago. I even cried once with him in the same room and he never even noticed...

Anonymous said...

You don't even know how many of these secrets I can relate to.
I wish I could tell you all, all of my stories. Maybe then I could help you

Bryanna said...

Hey, I have a few picture secrets. How do I send them in? Through email or something?

Anonymous said...

Seeing my secret there helped me let go of him a little bit. I'm not close to letting go completely..but the little steps are helping.

Anonymous said...

"i wish i could tell you how i felt and you’d feel the same. i wish you could be here for me. i wish you could be someone you’re not"

"every secret about someone missing someone else gives me hope that he might miss me too but is too afraid to tell me like i am too afraid to tell him."

"i’ve lost almost all trust in you."

"you’re the biggest shithead i know but i’ll try not to give up on you."

"i’m sick of being 2nd best."

"i’m terrified that i’m falling for this guy and he doesn’t feel the same way. i’m paranoid that i’m rushing into this and am going to get pushed away."

I personally could have written all those secrets, except transfering the him to a her... I'm lesbian...

My secret was sent to your phone this week... Maybe seeing it in print will help show her that it's not right, it's not safe. I texted it to you because I'm too scared to tell her because if I do, I'll loose a friend.

Anonymous said...

I hope the girl who sent you the picture secret will read this because she's beautiful.
I hope she heals emotionally and finds the right people to be around that'll shower her in the love and affection she truly deserves.